Here's an example of the eMail that I send each Monday-Friday...

To sign up for yours, send an email request to: Mofunny2004@Yahoo.com

How were shoes first made?
Answer Below
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I bet ya didn't know....
The Proteus aircraft, designed to cruise at altitudes of up to 60,000 feet for up to 18 hours, can be flown remotely from the ground.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On June 1, 1943
Leslie Howard, the British film star and director, was shot down by enemy aircraft over the Bay of Biscay on a flight from Lisbon to Ireland. He had appeared in the films "The Scarlet Pimpernel" and "Gone with the Wind."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tip: Veggie Hints
Wash stale cabbage with salt, water and few ice cubes. This will bring back its freshness and kill germs.

Roll each cucumber in a piece of newspaper while storing in the refrigerator - this will Keep it fresh for a week.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never promise more than you can perform.
Publilius Syrus
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Word for today...
osculate
Pronunciation: /OS-kyuh-late/
v : to kiss
"To watch the lovebirds osculate was a sight to behold."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While vacationing on Cape Cod, my wife and I stopped at a small way-side stand and bought some tomatoes. When I commented how small they were, the proprietor's reply was "Ay-up."

Returning a day or two later, my wife told the man the tomatoes he had sold us were tough and not very flavorful.

The old gentleman nodded, looked at us a moment, then said, "Lucky they was small, ain't it?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Live since September, 2000
To view jokes, my archive, and other tidbits of info, visit:
[ http://www.mofunny.com ]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father..."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that gun..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you change a blond's mind?
Blow in his ear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One liner for today...
A chicken walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry we don't serve poultry."
The chicken replies, "That's ok, I only want a drink."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Phobia
Dystychiphobia-
Fear of accidents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You might be a redneck if....
You burn your front yard rather than mow it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recipe for today
Fettuccine with Porcini Sauce
Ingredients
1/2 ounce dried porcini mushrooms
3/4 cup lukewarm water
2 tablespoons butter or margarine
1/4 cup dry white wine
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup chicken broth
3/4 cup heavy or whipping cream
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon dried thyme
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
1 pound or 2 packages (9 oz. each) fresh fettuccine, cooked according to package directions
1/4 cup minced shallots

Directions
1. Soak mushrooms in lukewarm water in small bowl 30 minutes. Line sieve with 100 percent cheesecloth or paper towel; drain mushrooms, reserving liquid. Set aside.
2. Meanwhile, melt butter in medium skillet over medium heat. Add shallots and cook until tender, 2 minutes. Stir in wine and simmer 2 minutes. Add broth, cream, mushroom soaking liquid, salt, thyme, and pepper; bring to boil. Boil 8 to 10 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in porcinis and parsley. Toss with hot pasta in large serving bowl. Makes 6 servings.

Nutritional Information
Nutritional facts per serving
calories:445, total fat:18g, saturated fat:10g, cholesterol:123mg, sodium:440mg, carbohydrate:58g, protein:12g
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trivia Answer
Ancient man, living in colder climates, is credited with making the first shoes, by adding material to the top of the crude "sandals" his neighbors in warmer climates had invented. He did so out of necessity, to give his feet additional protection from the cold. Early man, in warmer climates, invented the sandal to protect his feet from sharp rocks, and did so by strapping a mat of woven grass, a strip of animal hide, or a slab of flat wood to his feet with "thongs" he cut out of animal hide.

Some even pulled the thongs between the toes and tied them around the ankles to tighten the fit of these crude sandals. Wealthy ancient Egyptians wore sandals as long as 5,000 years ago, eventually everyone began wearing them, and the Egyptians designed different shoes for different purposes. For example, some of the sandals were make with upturned toes to give the wearer additional protection.

These improvements upon the sandal created a need for shoemakers, and the ancient Egyptians became the first shoemakers in the world. Ancient Greeks invented the boot, by replacing the sandal's thongs with solid leather. Many of these crude shoes have endured and are still worn today. Common examples include the sandals the ancient Greeks and Romans wore, the moccasins American Indians wore, and the clogs people in Holland still wear. In the Middle Ages, around the time the Crusades began, modern shoes appeared on the scene.

The Crusaders, who went on long treks, needed durable, comfortable shoes that people then began making for this purpose. Eventually, the styles and types of shoes made became a fashion statement, at the cost of comfort, instead of protective footwear. Fashion trends rapidly changed, and the fashionable, uncomfortable shoes with pointed, six-inch toes, gave way to another uncomfortable shoe known as the high heel.

In 1629, a shoemaker by the name of Thomas Beard, arrived in America on the second voyage of the Mayflower, opened a shop in which he could practice his trade, and sparked of our modern shoe industry.