In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023

MoFunny for

Monday

Punday · January 18, 2027

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Trivia question....

Where did Band-Aids come from?

+----- Answer At The End -----+


Consider these words of wisdom....

Don't be discouraged by a failure. It can be a positive experience. Failure is, in a sense, the highway to success, inasmuch as every discovery of what is false leads us to seek earnestly after what is true, and every fresh experience points out some form of error which we shall afterwards carefully avoid. -- John Keats

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We don't get offered crises, they arrive. -- Elizabeth Janeway

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All man's gains are fruit of venturing. - Herodotus

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I bet ya' didn't know....

Who are Leonard, Julius, Milton, and Herbert? They are the Marx Brothers.

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Q: What do these words have in common: decay enemy essay expediency ivy? A: When each syllable is pronounced, it sounds like a letter of the alphabet.

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Things that make you go Hmmm....

Why are most pencils yellow? (Was one once a coward?)

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Jokes & stories....

Joke

The wedding day was fast approaching. Everything was ready, and nothing could dampen Jennifer's excitement, not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother Sheila finally found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother of the bride EVER!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn her new young stepmother, Barbie, had purchased the same dress. She asked Barbie to exchange the dress, but Barbie refused, "Absolutely not! I'm going to wear this dress; I'll look like a million in it!"

Jennifer told her mother, who graciously replied, "Never mind dear. I'll get another dress, after all it's your special day, not hers."

Two weeks later, another dress was finally found. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "What are you going to do with the first dress? Maybe you should return it. You don't have any place to wear it."

Sheila grinned and replied, "Of course, I do, dear! I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!"

Joke

A client brought a litter of golden retriever puppies to my veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming.
As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest. So, I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and moistened each dog's head when I had finished.
After the fourth puppy, I noticed my talkative client had grown silent. As I sprinkled the last pup's head, the woman leaned forward and whispered, "I didn't know they had to be baptized, too."

One-liner

"Although I can accept talking scarecrows, lions and great wizards of emerald cities, I find it hard to believe there is no paperwork involved when

Joke

Employers listed the "most unusual" questions that have been asked by job candidates.

What is it that you people do at this company?"

"Why aren't you in a more interesting business?"

"What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?"

"Why do you want references?"

"Do I have to dress for the next interview?"

"Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?"

"Will the company pay to relocate my horse?"

"Does your health insurance cover pets?"

"Would it be a problem if I'm angry most of the time?"

"Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?"

"Do you think the company would be willing to lower my pay?"

"Sometimes I feel like smashing things."

"Once a week, I usually feel hot all over."

"I must admit that I am a pretty fair talker."

"If the pay was right, I'd travel with the carnival."

"I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me."

"I think I'm going to throw-up."

Joke

Max looked up at the steep, icy mountainside, "I can't do it," he said. His companions begged him to climb the mountain with them, but he refused to move, "I'm against mountain climbing," he finally admitted to his friends.

So now they call him "Anti-climb-Max."

Red Neck

You might be a redneck if…

The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".

Joke

The young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how often you should have it.

His grandfather told him that when you first get married, you want it all the time...and maybe do it several times a day.

Later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so.

Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month.

When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year...maybe on your anniversary.

The young fellow then asked his grandfather, "Well how about you and Grandma now?"

His grandfather replied, "Oh, we just have oral sex now."

"What's oral sex?" the young fellow asked.

"Well," Grandpa said, "She goes to bed in her bedroom and I go to bed in my bedroom. She yells, 'Screw You', and I holler back, 'Screw You too!'"

Joke

Boudreaux found Thibodeaux walking down the levee, looking really down in the dumps. Naturally, he asked Thibodeaux what the problem was. Thibodeaux told Boudreaux, "Well, me and Clothile done had our first fight last night."

Boudreaux says, "Aw, dat's too bad. What y'all had a fight about?"

Thibodeaux tells him, "Mais, I told her a joke about de Pope."

Boudreaux says, "Mais, Thib, why did you do that? You knows dat Clothile is Catholic."

Thibodeaux replies, "Yah, I knew dat, but I didn't know de Pope was too."


Trivia answer....

Earle Dickson, an employee of Johnson and Johnson developed the Band-Aid® in 1920 for his accident-prone wife, Josephine. His employer, Johnson and Johnson, a company launched by pharmacist Robert Johnson and his two brothers, produced large, dry, cotton and gauze dressings, which remained sterile in germ-resistant packaging until opened. They formed their Company upon the premise set forth by Sir Joseph Lister, of Listerine fame, at a speech given in Philadelphia in 1876, that surgical procedures should be sterile, to reduce the alarmingly high post-operative mortality rates, which were 90% in Britain at the time.

Earle attached small pieces of this sterile gauze, produced by his employer, to the center of strips of surgical tape to bandage poor Josephine's wounds. A colleague of his encouraged him to pitch his invention to Management, which he did. Management initially dismissed his idea, but later reversed its position when Earle demonstrated how easily the bandage could easily be applied by oneself. The powers that be realized the earning potential of this invention, snatched Earle's idea, and ran with it.

The original bandages Johnson and Johnson produced, were not only handmade, but were rather large in size at 2 1/2" in width, and 18" in length. Needless to say, first year sales left much to be desired. By 1924, Johnson and Johnson revamped the production process of the Band-Aid® by using machines, and by cutting down the size of the product. Sales skyrocketed, and Earle's vision became a reality.

By the time of his death in 1961, after being rewarded by Johnson and Johnson with a token vice-presidency and later with a seat on the Board of Directors, sales of the Band-Aid® exceeded $30,000,000, and production to date exceeds one hundred billion. All of this wealth can be attributed to a frustrated husband with an idea, a clumsy, accident prone wife, a piece of sterile gauze, and a piece of surgical tape.

Band-Aids® is a registered trademark of the Johnson & Johnson Corporation