MoFunny for

Wednesday

Women's Day · January 20, 2027

Trivia question....

Where did the Yo-Yo come from?

+----- Answer At The End -----+

Consider these words of wisdom....

Most people rust out due to lack of challenge. Few people rust out due to overuse. -- Unknown

How could you be a Great Man if history brought you no Great Events, or brought you to them at the wrong time, too young, too old? -- Lois McMaster Bujold, "Memory", 1996

Before you begin a thing, remind yourself that difficulties and delays quite impossible to foresee are ahead. If you could see them clearly, naturally you could do a great deal to get rid of them but you can't. You can only see one thing clearly and that is your goal. Form a mental vision of that and cling to it through thick and thin. -- Kathleen Norris

I bet ya' didn't know....

Our three favorite spare-time activities, changed since 1998: >time with family/friends - up 31.3% >reading - down 34.0% >watching TV - up 22.6%

In 1805, Marines led the storming of a fortress in Tripoli, one of the Barbary States of North Africa, helping to end piracy in the Mediterranean.

Things that make you go Hmmm....

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Jokes & stories....

Joke

COMPANY POLICY TO ALL EMPLOYEES:

As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.

Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.

This program will be known as SLAP. (Sever Late-Age Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company. SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers).

All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management. This appeal is called SHAFT(Study by Higher Authority Following Termination). Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.

If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump-sum Assistance Payment). As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, an employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.

Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We take pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor. Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the SHIT you can stand. And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.

THE MANAGEMENT

Joke

Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden name reinstated on my driver's license.

"Will there be any change of address?" the clerk inquired.

"No," I replied.

"Oh, good," she said, clearly delighted. "You got the house."

One-liner

Joke

In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."

Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."

In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat any place they want."

Joke

The LAPD, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove who is the best at apprehending criminals.

The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

Red Neck

You might be a redneck if…

Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.

Joke

Ever wonder why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes?

A - Almost

B - Better

C - Cute

D - Damn good

E - Enormous

F - Fake

And now they have added a new size for the over 50 group...

G - Gone South!

Joke

Be on the lookout for the following viruses: CLINTON VIRUS - Gives you a 7 Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.

VIAGRA VIRUS - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

LEWINSKY VIRUS - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, e-mails everyone about what it did.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS - Quits after two bytes.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS - Your 10 Gigabyte hard drive suddenly shrinks to 4 Gig, then slowly expands to 7 Gig.

DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS - Deletes all old files.

ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS - Disks can no longer be inserted.

TITANIC VIRUS - Your whole computer goes down, (hmm sounds kind of like the Lewinsky Virus.)

DISNEY VIRUS - Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

PROZAC VIRUS - Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

JOEY BUTTAFUCO VIRUS - Only attacks minor files.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS - Terminates some files, leaves, but IT WILL BE BAAAAACK.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.

Picture

Trivia answer....

Some inventions begin as one thing, and wind up as another.

In ancient Greece, the toy was made of wood, metal, and terra cotta with the two halves of the yo-yo decorated with pictures of gods. As a rite of passage into adulthood, Greek children often gave up their toys and placed them on an altar to pay homage to their gods. Around 1800, the yo-yo made its way to Europe from the Orient. In Britain it was called the "bandalore," " quiz," or the "Prince of Wales' toy." The French used the names "incroyable" and "l'emigrette."

In the Philippines around 1500, the Yo-Yo was a weapon. It consisted of a four pound stone attached to a rope about 20 feet long. Tribesmen used it in two ways. When hunting, they stood off to one side, held one end of the rope and threw the rock towards the legs of an animal. The rope became tangled around the animals legs, and with a tug, the hunter brought the animal down. Against enemies, the stones would be dropped on their heads. The tribesmen would quickly recover the stones, ready for a second blow if necessary.

The modern story of the yo-yo starts with a young gentleman from the Philippines named Pedro Flores. In the 1920s, he moved to the USA, and worked as a bellhop at a Santa Monica hotel. Carving and playing with wooden yo-yos was a traditional pastime in the Philippines, but Pedro found that his lunch break yo-yo playing drew a crowd at the hotel. He started a company to make the toys, calling it the Flores Yo-Yo Company. This was the first appearance of the name "yo-yo," which means "come-come" in the native Filipino language of Tagalog.

Donald F. Duncan, an entrepreneur who had already introduced the Eskimo Pie, Good Humor Ice Cream, was co-patent holder of a four-wheel hydraulic automobile brake, and would later popularize the parking meter, first encountered the yo-yo during a business trip to California. A year later, in 1929, he returned and bought the company from Flores, acquiring not only a unique toy, but also the magic name "yo-yo." About this time, Duncan introduced the looped slip-string, which allows the yo-yo to sleep - a necessity for advanced tricks.

Throughout the 1930s, 40s, and 50s, Duncan promoted yo-yos with innovative programs of demonstrations and contests. All of the classic tricks were developed during this period, as legendary players toured the country teaching kids and carving thousands of yo-yos with pictures of palm trees and birds. During the 1950s, Duncan introduced the first plastic yo-yos and the Butterfly® shaped yo-yo, which is much easier to land on the string for complex tricks. Duncan also began marketing spin tops during this period.

The biggest yo-yo boom in history (until 1995) hit in 1962, following Duncan's innovative use of TV advertising. Financial losses at the end of the boom and a costly lawsuit to protect the yo-yo trademark from competitors forced the Duncan family out of business in the late 60s. Flambeau Products, who made Duncan's plastic models, bought the company and still owns it today.

The genuine Duncan yo-yo is a classic toy that has endured for 70 years. With more than 600 million sold, it is probably the most popular toy in history, and was recently inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame.