What are "Chopines"? Some are over 20 inches tall.
In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
Friday
April 2, 2027
Trivia question....
Who said; "It will take [the jury] weeks to sift through the evidence and reach a verdict. Every one of them will want to try on the gloves."?
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Consider these words of wisdom....
Living in the moment brings you a sense of reverence for all of life's blessings. -- Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine
People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly. -- Brendan Francis
Regimen is superior to medicine. -- Voltaire
I bet ya' didn't know....
Mia Farrow was the cover girl of PEOPLE magazine's first issue in 1974.
Before the invention of the stirrup in 420, horses were trained to receive their riders by dropping to their knees like camels.
Things that make you go Hmmm....
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Jokes & stories....
A middle-aged woman convinced her husband to attend a couples retreat. At the first session, the facilitator said, "The fact is, no matter how long we've been married, there are many things we don't know about each other. For example, how many of you husbands can name your wife's favorite flower?"
The husband smiled knowingly, put his hand on his wife's knee, and said, "It's Pillsbury All-Purpose, right?"
Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players!
Woman's Dictionary
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead
I was very pregnant, and it was rotten luck when, several days before my due date, my husband fell from the porch roof, sprained both ankles and was restricted to crutches. So when I went into labor and he couldn't drive, I took the wheel, stopping every time I had a contraction.
Finally, we got to the hospital. I dropped him at the maternity entrace, and he hobbled off to the admitting desk, where the nurse told him to go to the emergency room.
No, it's my wife," he told her. "She's in Labor."
"Where is she?" the nurse asked.
"She's parking the car and bringing in the bags."
You might be a redneck if…
Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
There were four country churches in a small TEXAS town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and the Catholic Church.
Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.
One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
In the BAPTIST CHURCH the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.
The Catholic group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
But the METHODIST CHURCH came up with the best and most effective solution.
They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
"Name That Christmas Carol!"
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1. Bleached Yule
2. Castaneous-colored Seed Vesicated in a Conflagration
3. Singular Yearning for the Twin Anterior Incisors
4. Righteous Darkness
5. Arrival Time:2400 hrs - Weather:Cloudless
6. Loyal Followers Advance
7. Far Off in a Feeder
8. Array the Corridor
9. Bantam Male Percussionist
10. Monarchial Triad
11. Nocturnal Noiselessness
12. Jehovah Deactivate Blithe Chevaliers
13. Red Man En Route to Borough
14. Frozen Precipitation Commence
15. Proceed and Enlighten on the Pinnacle
16. The Quadruped with the Vermillion Probiscis
17. Query Regarding Identity of Descendant
18. Delight for this Planet
19. Give Attention to the Melodious Celestial Beings
20. The Dozen Festive 24 Hour Intervals
Answers below
1. White Christmas
2. Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire
3. All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth
4. O Holy Night
5. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
6. O Come, All Ye Faithful
7. Away in a Manger
8. Deck the Hall
9. Little Drummer Boy
10. We Three Kings
11. Silent Night
12. G-d Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen
13. Santa Claus is Coming to Town
14. Let it Snow
15. Go, Tell It on the Mountain
16. Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer
17. What Child is This?
18. Joy to the World
19. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
20. The Twelve Days of Christmas
Trivia answer....
Who said; "It will take [the jury] weeks to sift through the evidence and reach a verdict. Every one of them will want to try on the gloves."?
"It will take [the jury] weeks to sift through the evidence and reach a verdict. Every one of them will want to try on the gloves." - jury consultant Robert Hirschorn on the O.J. Simpson jury, USA Today, October 2, 1995.
The jury came back with a "not guilty" verdict in only a few hours.