In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023

MoFunny for

Wednesday

Women's Day · June 16, 2027

Share this page

Trivia question....

What is Shelta?

+----- Answer At The End -----+


Consider these words of wisdom....

There are two kinds of men who never amount to much: those who cannot do what they are told and those who can do nothing else. -- Cyrus H. Curtis

Share

I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions. -- Lillian Hellman, letter to Committee on Un-American Activities of the House of Representatives, May 19, 1952

Share

Quit now, you'll never make it. If you disregard this advice, you'll be halfway there. -- David Zucker

Share

I bet ya' didn't know....

The Gnaden Waterfall in the Tauern Mountains of Austria reflects a rainbow on its waters at exactly 3:30 every day.

Share

Samuel Adams, who organized the Boston Tea Party in 1773 to protest British taxes on the colonists, had been the Boston tax-collector in 1764.

Share

Things that make you go Hmmm....

Why are we afraid of falling? Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden stop?

Share

Jokes & stories....

Joke

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Joke

Punsville:
Q: What do you call a small, green, plastic replica of that famous Star Wars hero that you give to your child to play with?
A: A Toy Yoda.

One-liner

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.

Joke

Mrs. McDougal was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the vendor and asked, "How much are these oranges?"
"Two for a quarter," answered the vendor.
"How much is just one?" she asked.
"Fifteen cents," answered the vendor.
"Then I'll take the other one," said Mrs. McDougal.

Joke

A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong e-mail address!

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned Home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages of condolence from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 January 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e- mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

Red Neck

You might be a redneck if…

Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.

Joke

After a long day on the course, the exasperated golfer turned to his caddy and said, "You must be the absolute worst caddy in the world!"

"No, I don't think so," said the caddy. "That would be too much of a coincidence."

Joke

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."


Trivia answer....

Shelta is an esoteric jargon based on Irish and Gaelic, and it is still spoken by tinkers and vagrants in some parts of Ireland and England.

Irish Travelers (sometimes known as "itinerants" or "Tinkers") are a very small minority group in Ireland. They make up less than 1% of the population with approximately 23,000 people in the Republic and another 1,500 in the North. It is also estimated that there are about 15,000 Irish travelers in Britain and another 7,000 in the USA.

Irish Travelers belong to a distinct ethnic group within Ireland. They have their own language, beliefs and social customs which have been made stronger over time due to their exclusion and marginalization from mainstream "settled" society.

Occasionally Irish Travelers have been confused with the Roma or Gypsies in England, who despite centuries of coexistence, cultural interchange and limited intermarriage, remain a distinct people.

Until not so long ago Irish Travelers were referred to as "Tinkers". This word referred to their occupation as tinsmiths and metalworkers and was derived from the Irish word "ceard" (smith) or "tinceard" (tinsmith). This word is now generally used in a derogatory sense. Most of the Travelers' traditional crafts such as spoon-mending, tinsmithing and flower-making have gone by the way now as a result of urbanization and the introduction of plastic and industrial technology.

Traveler musicians have included the great uilleann piper Felix Doran and the world-renowned folk musicians, The Furey Brothers. The music and singing of the Irish Travelers have been in decline since urbanization and the arrival of television. Fewer Travelers now rely on singing and making music for their livelihood as in times gone by.

There are a number of theories as to the origin of the Irish Travelers. Their secret language, Shelta, and the evidence of various historical references to them would seem to indicate that they are the remnants of an ancient class of wandering poets, joined by those who were pushed off the land during different times of social and economic upheaval such as Cromwell's campaign, the Battle of the Boyne (1690) and the Battle of Aughrim (1691). Many of the Travelers may also be the descendants of people who were left homeless as a result of the Irish potato famines of the nineteenth century.