Joke

When you are sad .....
I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum-sucking evil one who made you sad.

When you are blue .....
I'll try to dislodge whatever's choking you.

When you smile .....
I'll know you finally got laid.

When you are scared .....
I will rag you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried .....
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

When you are confused .....
I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.

When you are sick .....
Stay the hell away from me until you're well again --
I don't want whatever it is you have.

When you fall .....
I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.

But when you REALLY, REALLY need a friend ...
You know I'll drop everything and I'll BE there.

This is my oath ..... I pledge it till the end.

Why? You might ask .....
Because you're my friend.