Joke

If truth is beauty, how come no one has her hair done in the library? --Lily Tomlin

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. --Jim Carrey

I'm always relieved when someone delivers a eulogy, and I realize I'm listening to it. --George Carlin

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two complete strangers sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine. --David Letterman

I'm odd-looking. Sometimes I think I look like a Muppet. --Angelina Jolie

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. --Steve Martin

Comedy is acting out optimism. --Robin Williams