Joke

Actual excerpts from Royal Navy and Marines officer fitness reports:

His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

I would not breed from this officer.

He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

This medical officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.

Since my last report he has reached rock bottom; has started to dig.

She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to meet them.

He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

Works well under constant supervision when cornered like a rat in a trap.

This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.