Joke

When a hospital runs out of maternity nurses they have a mid-wife crisis.

I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."
"What is she doing?" the pal asked.
"Waiting for me to get home."

"Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense."
- Mark Twain

"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened."
- Winston Churchill

"The victor will never be asked if he told the truth"
- Adolf Hitler

Actually, should the truth be known, there are a lot of good ways to "handle" a woman.
Unfortunately, not a man alive knows any of them.