Mr. Smith was a traveling salesman and frequent flyer, so he was always very, VERY careful to mark his luggage so that no one would mistakenly take his bags. He always did this with bright ribbons and tape, so he was quite surprised to see his bags grabbed by a well dressed man when he got to the luggage carousel.
Mr. Smith walked over to the fellow and pointed out the colored ribbons tied to the handle, and the fluorescent tape on the sides.
"I believe that luggage is mine. Were your bags marked like this?" he asked.
"Actually," the man replied, "I was wondering who did this to my luggage."
In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
Friday
October 2, 2026
Trivia question....
What actor served time on a Georgia chain gang?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
Consider these words of wisdom....
Be contented when you have got all you want. -- Holbrook Jackson
Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience. -- James Boswell, Life of Samuel Johnson, 1791
Nobody speaks the truth when there's something they must have. -- Elizabeth Bowen
I bet ya' didn't know....
Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking. Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did. "Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." And they did. "Now we eat everybody." And they did. When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?" His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the s--t inside!" Now you know... Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking.
The knight's warhorse of the Middle Ages had to be capable of carrying up to 900lbs in weight. That included the rider, the rider's armor, his saddle and bridle and the horses own armor.
Things that make you go Hmmm....
Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
Jokes & stories....
The math teacher saw that one of his students wasn't paying attention in class. So she called on him and said, "Bobby What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" - She was surprised and not prepared for his quick response,
"CBS, NBC, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
A man walks into a bar, he sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the barman, "Why are those two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling?"
The barman replies, "It's a competition which we run every night. If you can jump up and touch the meat, you get free drinks for the whole night."
Great!" says the man, "but what if I can't reach them?"
Then you have to buy all the drinks for everyone all night," the barman answers.
Do you want to try?"
No, but thanks anyway."
Why not?" asks the barman.
The steaks are too high."
Maw is outside hangin up the laundry, when she hears Paw in the kitchen.
Maw walks in and says, "Paw, get out there and fix that there outhouse."
Paw says, "All right, Maw."
Paw walks out to the outhouse, looks at it, and says, "Maw, there ain't nothin' wrong with this here outhouse!"
Maw says, "Yes, there is. Put your head down in the hole."
Paw says "I ain't puttin my head in that there hole!"
Maw says, "Well you're gonna have to if'n you're gonna fix the problem!"
Paw puts his head down in the hole (just a little bit mind ya) and he hollers, "Maw, there ain't nothin' wrong with this here outhouse!"
Maw hollers, "Now pull your head out of the hole."
Paw goes to lift up his head and he says, "Oww! OWW! Maw! MAW, my beard's stuck in the cracks in the seat!"
Maw says, "Aggravatin', ain't it?"
You might be a redneck if…
Your dad is also your favorite uncle.
Rules For Writers
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)
6. Be more or less specific.
7. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
8. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
9. No sentence fragments.
10. Don't use no double negatives.
11. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out or mispeld something.
12. Eschew obfuscation.
A man from Wisconsin, the owner of one of the largest cheese factories in the state, passes away quite suddenly. In his will, it stated that he was to be buried with 5 pounds of each type of cheese; hard, sharp, mild, soft, and so on.
As the pallbearers were taking the casket out of the church, the package of limburger burst open in the coffin, and when they smelled the stench, they dropped their load on the steps, causing it to skip down the steps and into the street.
The undertaker ran out of the church and screamed at the men, "What in God's name are you doing?"
"Hell," said the lead pallbearer, "if he could cut one like that, he sure as hell can walk."
Trivia answer....
What actor served time on a Georgia chain gang?
Robert Mitchum's part-Native-American father died in a train accident when "Mitch" was two. He and his brother John (also an actor) and their siblings were raised by his mother and stepfather, a British soldier, in various places on the East Coast. He was tough kid, and spent much of his teen years out on the road. At 14 he was charged with vagrancy and ended up on a chain gang in Georgia. Like one of his movie characters, he eventually escaped.
As a young man, Mitchum held many different jobs, including a professional boxer (27 fights) and a stint as a ghostwriter for the popular astrologer, Carroll Righter. His first try at acting came with a Long Beach, California amateur theater group. While working at Lockheed Aircraft, he became temporarily blind because of job stress. It was at this time that he accepted the first of what would become dozens of small roles in films.
In 1945, he received an Oscar nomination as Best Supporting Actor for the role of Lt. Walker in "The Story of G.I. Joe." He quickly became a fixture in the film noir genre, also appearing in Westerns and dramas.
His lethargic style and world-weary attitude were attractive to both men and women. By the 1950s he had become a superstar -- in spite of the fact that he served time in prison in 1949 for possession of marijuana. ("Just like Palm Springs," he said, "but without the riff-raff.") This only appeared to strengthen his appeal. (Ahead of his time?)
While he didn't seem to care much for film as "art," he still contributed to projects such as "The Night of the Hunter," by Charles Laughton. He also co-wrote and composed an oratorio which was presented at the Hollywood Bowl by Orson Welles. He was good at doing accents and didn't appear to care much about his "image," which led him to appear in films which ran the gamut from classic to barely watchable. In the Eighties, when film roles began to dry up, he moved into TV, appearing in "The Winds of War" and "War and Remembrance."