In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023

MoFunny for

Sunday

October 25, 2026

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Trivia question....

What's that living in my mouth?

+----- Answer At The End -----+


Consider these words of wisdom....

Either you decide to stay in the shallow end of the pool or you go out in the ocean. -- Christopher Reeve

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Do give books - religious or otherwise - for Christmas. They're never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal. -- Lenore Hershey

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Any child who is anxious to mow the lawn is too young to do so. --Bob Phillips

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I bet ya' didn't know....

First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt ate three chocolate-covered garlic balls every morning. Her doctor recommended this to improve her memory.

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The large-mouth black bass is known by 44 different names. (...and doesn't answer to any of them!)

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Things that make you go Hmmm....

If someone is allergic to eating Thanksgiving leftovers, can he quit cold turkey?

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Jokes & stories....

Joke

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOODNESS! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY!

Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!

We need more butter. Oh my GOODNESS! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?

They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never!

Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! "

The wife stared at him. "What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

Joke

Al Gore immortalized

Can we count them with our nose?
Can we count them with our toes?
Should we count them with a band?
Should we count them all by hand?
If I do not like the count
I will simply throw them out!

I will not let this vote count stand.
I do not like them, AL GORE I am!

Can we change these numbers here?
Can we change them, calm my fears?
What do you mean, Dubya has won?
This is not fair this is not fun.
Let's count them upside down this time.
Let's count until the state is mine

I will not let this VOTE count stand!
I do not like it, AL GORE I am!

I'm really ticked, I'm in a snit!
You have not heard the last of it!
I'll count the ballots one by one
And hold each one up to the sun
I'll count, recount, and count some more!
You'll grow to hate this little chore
But I will not, cannot let this vote count stand
I do not like it, Al Gore I am!

I won't leave office, I'm stayin' here
I've glued my desk chair to my rear!
Tipper, Hillary and Bubba too,
all telling me that I should sue!
We find the Electoral college vile!
RECOUNT the votes until I smile!

We do not want this vote to stand!
We do not like it, AL GORE I am!

How shall we count this ballot box?
Let's count it standing in our socks!
Shall we count this one in a tree?
And who shall count it, you or me?
We cannot, cannot count enough!
We must not stop, we must be tough!

I do not want this vote to stand!
I do not like it AL GORE l am!

I've counted till my fingers bleed
And still can't fulfill my counting need.
I'll count the tiles on the floor
I'll count, and count, and count some more.
And I will not say that I am done
Until the counting says I've won!

I will not let this vote count stand!
I do not like it, AL GORE l am!

What's that? What? What are you trying to say?
You think the current count should stay?
You do not like my counting scheme?
It makes you tense, gives you bad dreams?
Foolish people, you're wrong you'll see!
Your only care should be for me!

I WILL NOT LET THIS VOTE COUNT STAND!
I DO NOT LIKE IT. AND AL GORE I AM!!!!!

One-liner

You pretend to work, and we'll pretend to pay you.

Joke

WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me." New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, "'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too d____ ugly to kiss good-bye".

Joke

Mother Lion and Father Lion had gone off hunting, and had told their two children not to wander away. However, a couple of small gnus wandered by, and the baby lions could not resist the temptation to try out their own hunting skills. They ran out, chased after the gnus, killed them, and started eating them.

Just as the baby lions were reaching the end of their meal, the parents appeared in the distance. One of the baby lions turned to the other, and said:

"That is the end of the gnus. Here again are the head lions."

Red Neck

You might be a redneck if…

Birds are attracted to your beard.

Joke

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train.

Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was apleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon."

She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember that there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen!"

Joke

There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot.

When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. The motorist went up to him and said, "I don't mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?"

To which the trucker replied, "Sorry, can't talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10 ton limit, I have to keep half of them in the air all the time!"


Trivia answer....

YOUR MOUTH IS A JUNGLE!

For the bacteria, fungi, protozoa, and viruses inhabiting our mouths, life is a piece of cake, or whatever else we have eaten. What we lunch on, they munch on.

In fact, our mouths are ecosystems for them, as the weather forecast remains the same at 95º F, unless we are ill, the level of humidity at 100%, and the guaranteed a free meal on, actually in, the mouth is unconditional. They select their own living quarters, with some preferring life between the teeth, others preferring the space between the gums and the teeth, others preferring the roof of the mouth, and yet others preferring the cracks in the front or in the back of the tongue. They do, however, work for this luxurious lifestyle, by performing such tasks as eating each other, fending off bad species of bacteria, etc., manufacturing different products, and eating the food that becomes lodged in parts of our mouths.

The only harmful species of bacteria inhabiting our mouths is Streptococcus mutants, the cavity causing bacteria. Microbiologists believe that initially, this bacteria was our friend, and played a useful role in our mouths, just as the other species of bacteria do. As man progressed down the evolutionary timeline and began refining raw sugar, Streptococcus mutants became the enemy. This species thrives upon refined sugar and, as a part of its digestive process, converts sugar into acid.

Before man began refining sugar, the bicarbonate ions in our saliva possessed the ability to counteract the acid it produced. With the arrival of refined sugar on the scene, and Streptococcus mutants' insatiable appetite for it, acid production increased to the point where the saliva could no longer counteract it. The excess acid produced erodes our teeth, causes cavities, and subsequent visits to the dentist.

The more than 100 species of bacteria, and hundreds of species of fungi, protozoa, and viruses that have taken up residence in our mouths is difficult to fathom. Microbiologists estimate that, in addition to these known species, there are up to 500 other living, breathing organisms inhabiting our mouths, although only 50 have been identified and named. The sheer number of these creatures is astronomical, considering the fact that our mouths contain more bacteria than the entire world's population, and the fact that our bodies house approximately one trillion bacteria.

What is a person to do about these squatters? Nothing. Our bodies provide an ecosystem for them and, in return, they defend us from the invasion of bad bacteria, viruses, fungi, and protozoa, with the exception of Streptococcus mutants and a couple of other undesirable species.

Our dentists' advice to brush and to floss our teeth on a regular basis should be taken, as doing so helps to maintain healthy levels of these creatures from between 1,000 to 100,000 per tooth.

Enjoy your next meal…they certainly will!