In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
November 29, 2026
Does Venus and Mars have seasons?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
Guilt is anger directed at ourselves--at what we did or did not do. -- Peter McWilliams, Life 101
To be alone is to be different, to be different is to be alone. -- Suzanne Gordon, Lonely in America, 1976
Man is asked to make of himself what he is supposed to become to fulfill his destiny. -- Paul Tillich
A huge willow tree in front of the Noyes house in Litchfield, Conn., grew from a riding stick stuck into the ground by Colonel Benjamin Talmadge of Washington's staff during the Revolution.
I Bet Ya Didn't Know: Paul Morphy (1837-1884), American chess wizard, memorized the 535-page Louisiana Civil Code and passed his bar examination at the age of 19. He was admitted to the bar with the stipulation that he could not practice law until he became 21.
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?
"Our Ode to Sundays (After a fun Saturday night)"
Starkle, starkle, little twink,
who the hell are you I think?
I'm not under what you call
the alcofluence of incohol.
I'm just a little slort of sheep,
I'm not drunk like thinkle peep.
I don't know who is me yet,
but the drunker I stand here,
the longer I get.
So, just give me one more fink to drill my cup, cause I got all day sober to Sunday up.
A man was driving recklessly down the interstate one day and his girlfriend in the passenger seat was getting very upset.
When the man finally realized that she was not happy with his driving and said, "Baby I'm sorry for driving so recklessly; I should be more careful when I have precious cargo!"
The girlfriend looked at him and said, "Oh, that's so sweet baby!"
Then the guy quickly corrected her, "No, no! I mean the golf clubs in the back!"
Middle Age: When actions creak louder than words.
The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride.
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love on to you.
The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.
He never has made you cry
Or hurt you in any way
To hell with this endless poem
The perfect man is GAY.
Office Insanity!
Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.
Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. I am psychic.
Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's hell.
Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.
You might be a redneck if…
Your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
I was working in the sun all day, putting finishing touches on the new deck outside my house. My sister pulled into the driveway, greeted me, and looked over my work.
"Wow, Steve," she gushed, "you're an expert."
Gloating, feeling like the king that I am, but.... trying not to seem egotistical, I responded. . . "Once you get going, it's pretty easy!"
She looked puzzled and I then wondered if I'd misunderstood her. So I asked, "What did you just say, Jen?"
She replied. . . "I said, your neck's burnt!"
The wife was busy frying eggs, when her husband came home. He walked into the kitchen and immediately started yelling.
"Careful...CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! WE NEED MORE BUTTER! THEY ARE GOING TO STICK! CAREFUL! CAREFUL!!! TURN THEM! HURRY UP!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!!! USE MORE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!!"
The wife was very upset, "What is wrong with you? Why are you yelling like this? Do you think I don't know how to fry an egg?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like for me when I am driving with you sitting next to me."
Does Venus and Mars have seasons?
The planet Venus does not tilt as it goes around the Sun, so consequently, it has no seasons. On Mars, however, the seasons are more exaggerated and last much longer than on Earth.