In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
Punday · January 25, 2027
When was the first Christmas in the Philippines celebrated?
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Of course there is no formula for success except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings. -- Arthur Rubinstein
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. - Author - H. P. Lovecraft, "The Call of Cthulhu", first line
Words, like eyeglasses, bur everything that they do not make more clear. - Joseph Joubert
The ruffed grouse, before the winter's snows, develops a fringe of horn on each toe, which prevents the bird from sinking into the snow.
Two infants, strapped inside a cradle, were found on the beach of Wyck, Germany, in 1825, having survived a great flood which killed hundreds and leveled scores of villages.
Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears. She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to the other ear?"
"The son of a bitch called back!"
A black couple were out trick-or-treating on Halloween night ..naked.
At the first door they rang the bell. "Trick-or-Treat!" they said.
"What are you supposed to be?" the homeowner asked.
The guy answered, "We're Hershey Kisses. One with nuts and one without."
What's the difference between slime and a lawyer? I've been looking for years, I still can't find any.
An Alaskan woodpecker and a Texas woodpecker were in Alaska arguing about which state had the toughest trees to peck.
The Alaskan woodpecker said that they had a tree that no woodpecker can peck. The Texas woodpecker challenged him and was able to peck a hole in the tree with no problem.
The Alaskan woodpecker was in awe.
The Texas woodpecker challenged the Alaskan woodpecker to peck a tree in Texas that no woodpecker had been able to peck successfully.
The Alaskan woodpecker expressed much confidence that he could do it.
After flying to Texas and successfully pecking the tree in Texas, the two woodpeckers couldn't figure out why the Texas woodpecker was able to peck the Alaskan tree and the Alaskan woodpecker was able to peck the Texan tree when neither one was able to peck the tree in their own state.
After thinking for some time they both came to the same conclusion:
Your pecker is always harder when you're away from home...
Who says the Michigan justice department doesn't have a sense of humor? Not only did Judge Deborah Servitto dismiss a defamation suit by a former schoolmate of rapper Eminem's, she also included this as a footnote:
"Stories no one would take as fact,
They're an exaggeration of a childish act.
It is therefore this court's ultimate position
That Eminem is entitled to summary disposition."
You might be a redneck if…
You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
A young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a grave-side committal service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns.
He arrived a half-hour late, the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were eating lunch.
The pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place. Taking out his book, he read the service.
As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say: "Think we should tell him it's a septic tank?"
One of the selling points at my old store was my requirement that staff knew the names and preferences of regular customers. To this day, I have about 3000+ customer names and the comics they bought, games they played, or music they listened to filed away in my brain. The odd thing is that those are keyed memories - I must be physically in the store to retrieve those memories. If I run into that same customer at the mall or the library, I have little chance of remembering anything other than, "Hey, don't I know you?"
The reverse is also true. I had a guy drop by my store and begin chatting to me like we were old friends. I apologized and said, "I'm sure I know you, but my mind is playing tricks today. Who are you?"
He replied, "I'm your brother Peter, dumbass."
Random Cartoon Title: Register b4 landing
When was the first Christmas in the Philippines celebrated?
According to historical accounts, the first Christmas in the Philippines was celebrated 200 years before Ferdinand Magellan discovered the country for the western world, likely between the years 1280 and 1320 AD.