The words 'I am...' are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you. -- A. L. Kitselman
A too constant preoccupation with money may seem to indicate the lack of a proper sense of moral values, but [let] those who have always had money be without it for a while, and they will soon discover how quickly it becomes their chief concern. - Moss Hart; 1904-1961
The little "m's" on "M&M's"® Chocolate Candies weren't printed on the candies until 1950. They were originally printed in black, not white. It wasn't until 1954 that the "m's" became the color they are today.
Three numbers, 19, 33, and 42, are considered unlucky in Japan. 19 is called juku, meaning sorrows; 33 is san zan, meaning disasters; and 42 is shi ni, which means death.
"When I was a kid, we walked 10 miles to school every day, sometimes in the rain or snow. Man, did we feel stupid when we found out there was a bus. --Brian Auten
"I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman." --Bruce Baum
"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody is looking." -- Henry Louis Mencken
Where there's a will, there's an Inheritance Tax.
Why did the banks use all that space and money to construct so many teller stations, then never have more than two or three in use?
Joke
"Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?"
"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming with plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our friends."
"I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually?"
"Oh, sure," came the reply.
"I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."
One-liner
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
Joke
A father in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, makes a turn at a red light where it isn't allowed. "Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.
"That's OK Dad," the son says, "The police car right behind us did the same thing."
Joke
Dear Grandson, I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen everyday. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go to see John. Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint. After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life. Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer.
Red Neck
You might be a redneck if…
You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.
Joke
A blonde is on board a small two seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio. "Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just died!" she screams.
Ground control receives her call for help and answers back: "Don't worry, madam. I'll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position"
"I'm 5"2' and sitting in the front"
Joke
On a recent flight I was on, this elderly woman kept peering out the window.
Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing tip light.
Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.
"I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time."
Picture
Trivia answer....
How did beets get their name?
Beets reminded early cooks of a bleeding animal when they cut them open, so they started calling them "beets." This was derived from the French word bête, meaning "beast."
Beets are notable for their sweetness--they have the highest sugar content of any vegetable, but they are very low in calories. Their sweet flavor comes through whether the beets are fresh or canned (which is the way most beets are sold in the U.S.). Unlike many other processed vegetables, canned beets are perfectly acceptable in both taste and texture; if not pickled, their sweet flavor is largely unaffected by the canning process. Fresh beets, however, have twice the folate (folic acid) and potassium, and have a distinctive flavor and a crisp texture not found in canned beets. Fresh beets also supply a nutritional bonus--their green tops are an excellent source of beta-carotene, calcium, and iron.
