A couple was relating their vacation experiences to a friend. "It sounds as if you had a great time in Texas," the friend observed. "But didn't you tell me you were planning to visit Colorado?"
"Well," the husband said, "we changed our plans because, uh..."
His wife cut in, "Oh, tell the truth, Fred!" He fell silent and she continued, "You know, it's just ridiculous. Fred simply will not ask for directions."
In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
Wednesday
Women's Day · June 9, 2027
Trivia question....
What is corundum?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
Consider these words of wisdom....
Happiness is not something you experience, it's something you remember. - Oscar Levant
Life isn't long enough for love and art. -- W. Somerset Maugham, The Moon and Sixpence
Good order is the foundation of all things. -- Edmund Burke, 'Reflections on the Revolution in France,' 1790
I bet ya' didn't know....
J. Edgar Hoover, chief of the FBI, was scared by a black cat. He stepped on its tail in a raid on the Roger Touhy gang, and the cat's yowl was Hoover's greatest moment of fear in 30 years as head of the G-men. (Chicago, Ill.--Dec, 29, 1942)
Women are more likely than men to eat food that has fallen on the floor.
Things that make you go Hmmm....
Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?
Jokes & stories....
A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to the local hospital in town and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides.
When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better."
One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."
We waste more time by 8&;00 in the morning than other companies do all day.
Every "Hormone Hostage" knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend or significant other.
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be over reacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe.
A man who despised his city's Building Department decided to re-roof his house. He knew he was supposed to get a building permit to do this, but didn't out of spite. He had completed most of his illegal repairs and was preparing to eliminate the sag in the eaves at the end of the house.
As the man struggled to eliminate the sag in the eaves, some rotted wood gave way underneath him. He fell right through the hole in the roof, but managed to grab the edge of the eaves as he fell, catching himself.
Unfortunately, the sudden weight of the falling man caused the edge of the roof to completely tear loose from the rest of the house, resulting in the man falling twenty feet to the ground and getting pummeled with debris from the collapsed eaves.
A neighbor happened to witness this and hurried over to check on the man. He was alive, but badly hurt. The paramedics were called and he was taken to the hospital in agony.
The man's injuries were serious enough hat he spent six weeks in the hospital recovering. On his last day in the hospital, the police arrived and announced that he was under arrest for his activities six weeks earlier.
"What!?" exclaimed the man. "You're going to arrest me for falling off my own roof?"
"Oh no," replied the policeman. "We're arresting you for tearing off the edge of your roof without a permit. ... That's a clear case of illegal eavesdropping."
You might be a redneck if…
You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport.
A systems engineer, mechanical engineer, and a software engineer are in a car careening down a mountainous road without brakes. The driver is furiously pumping the pedal while he steers the speeding car around the treacherous turns - stones flying and passengers gasping. Finally, he finds an incline and the car coasts to a stop.
All three get out and, thanking their lucky stars, begin to assess the situation:
"Oh," says the mechanical engineer, "the brake lines are leaking - lets patch the hole, bleed the brakes and be on our way!"
The systems engineer said "maybe we should consult with the manufacturer and the dealer to ensure that is really the problem."
The software engineer said "why don't we get back in and see if it happens again?"
A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friends with him. While he's talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off. As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandmother, "Thanks for the peanuts."
She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off 'em."
Random Cartoon Title: Laptop Design
Trivia answer....
What is corundum?
Rubies and sapphires are made of corundum -- the hardest known rock after the diamond.
Corundum is the second hardest natural mineral known to science. The hardest mineral, diamond is still four times harder than corundum. The hardness of corundum can be partially attributed to the strong and short oxygen-aluminum bonds. These bonds pull the oxygen and aluminum atoms close together, making the crystal not only hard but also quite dense for a mineral made up of two relatively light elements.