In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
August 5, 2027
How old are the Moon rocks?
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Better be ill spoken of by one before all than by all before one. -- Scottish Proverb
The person who agrees with everything you say either isn't listening to you or plans to sell you something. --Bud Holiday
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." | Maya Angelou
72% of Americans say they'd welcome a conversation with their doctor about faith or spirituality.
Who am I? I am the only person to have served as President and Vice-President without being elected to either office? Gerald Ford
If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex?
A few days after Christmas, my six year son and I were talking. He asked, "Mom, is there a Santa Claus?"
"Well, what do you think?" I asked him.
He replied, "Well, my Playstation that I got and my gift from Santa were wrapped in the same kind of wrapping paper." He thought for a minute and said, "I'll tell you what ... you and Dad can go on buying me presents and let's just forget we ever had this talk!"
A man had a terrible accident. His manhood was mangled and torn from his body. The doctor reassured him that modern medicine made it possible for his manhood to be rebuilt, but insurance didn't cover the expense. It was considered cosmetic. He had three choices - small for $3,500; medium for $6,500 and large for $14,000.
The man was sure he'd want a medium or large. The doctor suggested that he discuss it with his wife privately before a final decision was made.
The doctor left the room and while he was gone the man called his wife and told her their options.
The doctor returned and found the man looking very sad.
"Did you make a decision?" the doctor asked.
"Yes," said the man. "She'd rather remodel the kitchen!"
Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.
Dear Desperate,
Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files.
DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3.
Tech Support
A guy is driving across country trying to get home for Christmas. As he passes through Mississippi he sees a Nativity Pageant and notices the three wise men are dressed as firemen.
He stops and asks, "Hey--why are you guys dressed up like that?"
The biggest bubba replies, "You Yankees sure are dumb. It says right here in the song that three strangers came from afar."
You might be a redneck if…
You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee. I asked the clerk to put some ice cubes into the cup so I could drink the coffee quicker. At the window, there was a delay.
Finally, a teen-ager came to the window looking frustrated. "I'm sorry for the delay," she announced, "but the ice you ordered for your coffee kept melting."
An Indian fell into an outhouse and got trapped for a very long time. After a long time a man came and fished him out. The man asked the Indian how long he had been in there. The Indian replied, "I've seen many moons!"
Random Cartoon Title: Safe Sex in Middle E
How old are the Moon rocks?
Scientists have determined that most rocks on the surface of the Moon are between 3 and 4.6 billion years old.
Between 1969 and 1972 six Apollo missions brought back 382 kilograms (842 pounds) of lunar rocks, core samples, pebbles, sand and dust from the lunar surface. The six space flights returned 2200 separate samples from six different exploration sites on the Moon. In addition, three automated Soviet spacecraft returned important samples totaling 300 grams (approximately 3/4 pound) from three other lunar sites. The lunar sample building at Johnson Space Center is the chief repository for the Apollo samples. The lunar sample laboratory is where pristine lunar samples are prepared for shipment to scientists and educators. Nearly 1000 samples are distributed each year for research and teaching projects.
Study of rock and soil samples from the Moon continues to yield useful information about the early history of the Moon, the Earth, and the inner solar system. Recent computer models indicate that the Moon could have been formed from the debris resulting from the Earth being struck a glancing blow by a planetary body about the size of Mars. The chemical composition of the Moon, derived from studies of lunar rocks, is compatible with this theory of the origin of the Moon. We have learned that a crust formed on the Moon 4.4 billion years ago. This crust formation, the intense meteorite bombardment occurring afterward, and subsequent lava outpourings are recorded in the rocks. Radiation spewed out by the Sun since the formation of the Moon's crust, was trapped in the lunar soil as a permanent record of solar activity throughout this time.