Wednesday

According to writer, Jerry Chin, "When it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. For without the rain, there would be no rainbow."

Every now and then, our daily existence may experience an unexpected storm of circumstances that pelts us with torrential rain, bolts of lightning and claps of thunder. And more often than not, it usually occurs on those days when we forgot to bring an umbrella.

Sometimes our spirits are dampened by these occasional showers of relationship, work or life issues. And just when it seems as if the dark clouds will never blow over, the sun finally breaks through and shines its rays of hope, encouragement and peace.

Whenever you find yourself weathering a professional, personal or emotional storm, look to the heavens and seek enlightenment. For it is only after overcoming life's heaviest rainfalls that we are truly able to appreciate the phenomenal appearance of the rainbow as it arches its brilliant colors across the sky.

Country entertainer and actress, Dolly Parton, explains it best when she so eloquently stated, "If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with a little rain."

© 2002 - Tamela Meredith Partridge

Just a few weeks after taking a job as a security guard, my husband announced that he had been fired. He explained that he'd fallen asleep at this desk and someone broke into the building.

"But you're such a light sleeper," I said. "I'm surprised the sound of the guy breaking in didn't wake you up."

"I didn't get fired for falling asleep," he confessed, "I was fired for wearing my earplugs."

There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year!

A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours."

The banker said, "Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him."

Farmer Jake had a nagging wife who made his life miserable. The only real peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing.

One day when he was out in the field, Jake's wife brought his lunch to him. Then she stayed while he quietly ate and berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Jake's old mule kicked up his back legs, striking the wife in the head, and killing her instantly.

At the wake, Jake's minister noticed that when the women offered their sympathy to Jake he would nod his head up and down. But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.

When the wake was over and all the mourners had left, the minister approached Jake and asked, "Why was it that you nodded your head up and down to all the women and shook your head from side to side to all the men?"

Well, Jake replied, "The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down. The men all asked, 'Is that mule for sale!?'"

You might be a redneck if…

You've ever hitchhiked naked,

80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention.

The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world- wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance."

So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"

After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?"

The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?"

The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"

Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream... "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"

For 40 years my grandfather put in long hours at his job, so I was more than a little curious about the way he filled his days since his retirement. "How has life changed?" I asked.

A man of few words, he replied, "Well, I get up in the morning with nothing to do, and I go to bed at night with it half-done."