In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
October 14, 2027
How does the bombardier beetle, when disturbed, defend itself?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
The author of the Iliad is either Homer or, if not Homer, somebody else of the same name. - Aldous Huxley
Pray as if everything depended upon God and work as if everything depended upon man. -- Francis Cardinal Spellman
[Long hair] is considered bohemian, which may be why I grew it, but I keep it long because I love the way it feels, part cloak, part fan, part mane, part security blanket. -- Marge Piercy
A sailing ship, abandoned in the Maroni River between French and Dutch Guiana, filled with soil and sprouted trees and plants, all in a period of 36 years.
Ismet Bey (1842-1906), who was born on the same day as Sultan Abdul Hamid of Turkey, looked so much like him that he made public appearances for the Sultan, and to this day it is not certain which of them outlived the other.
If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
Recently, our 18-year-old daughter started hunting for her first real job. She spent an afternoon filling out applications, leaving them on the kitchen table to finish later. As I walked by, a section of the application on top jumped out at me. Under "Previous Employment" she wrote, "Baby sitting."
In answer to "Reason for Leaving" she wrote, "Parents came home."
I was in a church meeting where the topic was "Burial or Cremmation?" was discussed. Two of the people got rather worked up.
One said to the other, "If you have yourself cremated, all you will be doing is making an ash of yourself!"
The other replied, "Well, I'm told that petroleum comes from fossilized bones, so if you have yourself buried all you will be doing is making a fuel of yourself!"
The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.
Two men were out hunting in the woods. One of them was a fanatical huntsman: he went hunting as often as he could. The other was his friend: a peaceful nature loving fellow, who didn't really want to hurt anything.
They had been out in the woods for some time, when they picked up the tracks of a deer. They soon caught up with it, and when they saw it, it was obvious why it had been so easy to catch up to: it had a terrible infection over it's left eye, which it couldn't even see out of.
The hunter started to take aim with his shotgun, but his friend begged him to stop.
He said, "Can't you see that's a bad eye deer?"
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home.
She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'"
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"
One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said 'Holy Shit! A talking pig!'"
You might be a redneck if…
Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.
An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate's peg-leg, hook, and eye patch the seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We was caught in a monster storm off the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin' me out a school of sharks appeared and one of 'em bit me leg off."
"Blimey!" said the seaman. "What about the hook?"
"Ahhhh...," mused the pirate, "we were boardin' a trader ship, pistols blastin' and swords swingin' this way and that. In the fracas me hand got chopped off."
"Zounds!", remarked the seaman. "And how came ye by the eye patch?"
"A seagull droppin' fell into me eye," answered the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.
"Well..." said the pirate, "...it was me first day with the hook..."
Dog property rules
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, it's yours. .
How does the bombardier beetle, when disturbed, defend itself?
The bombardier beetle, when disturbed, defends itself by emitting a series of explosions, sometimes setting off four or five in succession. The noises sound like miniature popgun blasts and are followed by a cloud of reddish-colored, vile-smelling fluid.
The bombardier beetle produces two harmless chemicals in its body that when mixed react together to form a boiling hot spray of chemicals. The beetle shoots the burning mixture at attackers with an explosive sound, and rarely misses its mark.