In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023

MoFunny for

Saturday

November 27, 2027

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Trivia question....

What is the cats’ cradle?

+----- Answer At The End -----+


Consider these words of wisdom....

The highest result of education is tolerance. -- Helen Keller, 'Optimism,' 1903

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The first duty of a leader is to make himself be loved without courting love. To be loved without 'playing up' to anyone - even to himself. -- Andre Malraux

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Change, when it comes, cracks everything open. -- Dorothy Allison, O Magazine, January 2004

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I bet ya' didn't know....

According to TIME magazine, the only new shoe in 300 years is the sneaker.

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1876 - The first British trademark was registered--to Bass Pale Ale.

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Things that make you go Hmmm....

What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed?

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Jokes & stories....

Joke

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as an asset employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.

Addendum:

That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.

Joke

When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I was assigned as a temporary assistant in an administrative office in a Military Intelligence unit.

One day a long came around with a cover sheet instructing all assigned officers to read it and initial it as indication of their compliance. I figured it meant me too, so I read and initialed it.

BUT a few days later, it came back addressed specifically to me. An attached note read: "You are not permanently assigned to this unit and are thus not an authorized signee. Please erase your initials and initial your erasure."

So I did.

One-liner

Lexuses or Lexi? It's like the man who wanted to buy two mongoose. Or is it mongeese? Or mongooses? He finally said, "Send me a mongoose,

Joke

It was mealtime during our trip on a small airline.

"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in front of me.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.

Joke

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

What makes life 100%?

If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then,

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

But,

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

And,

B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 10 = 103%

So it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far

A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 127%

Red Neck

You might be a redneck if…

You burn your front yard rather than mow it.

Joke

A blind man was standing with his dog in a corner when the dog raised his leg and pissed on his trouser. The man took out a biscuit from his pocket and was about to give the dog the same. Suddenly, he heard a lady saying, "You should not do that. He'll never learn anything if you reward him when he does something like that."

The blind man retorted, "I'm not rewarding him. I'm just trying to find his mouth so that I can kick him in the ass for what he just did".

Joke

Once upon a time, there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously, but it was all empty and quiet. "Hello?" she cried... but no answer.

"Is there anyone here?" She cried a little louder, but still no answer....

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled: "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"

Then she heard a voice from far, far away ... "Hello - we're all down here....""


Trivia answer....

The game of a cats’ cradle – two players alternately strength a looped string over their fingers to produce different designs – has been around since about 1760.

Click here: How to Do Cat's Cradle

In cat's cradle, two people make shapes with string and pass them back and forth. Lots of people know the FIRST one (the Cat's Cradle) -- but there are lots more: the Manger, Candles, the Cat's Eye, and Diamonds....it goes on and on. To do it, you need:

• two people • a piece of string tied at the ends to make a circle

In the directions, “you” is the first person and “she” is the second person. You and she take turns: when it's HER turn, the directions will switch sides.