Sunday

A cruise ship going through some rough waters and ended up sinking just off the coast of a small deserted island. There were only three survivors - two men and a woman.

The three lived there for a couple of years doing what was natural for men and women.

After several years of casual sex all the time, the girl felt really bad about what she had been doing. She felt having sex with both guys was so bad that she killed herself.

It was very tragic, but the two guys managed to get through it and, after a while, nature once more took it's inevitable course.

Well, a couple more years went by and the guys began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.

So...

They buried her.

No Wonder The English Language Is So Difficult To Learn:

We polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
A farm can produce produce.
The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
The present is a good time to present the present.
At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
The dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance for the invalid was invalid.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

Barbie is a college graduate. She attended a generic educational institution called State College.

Late at night this guy runs into a pub and gets a glass of water from the bartender. The guy drinks it in one gulp then asks for a second glass.

Six glasses later, and he has recovered enough to speak. "Thanks," he croaks.

"That's one hell of a thirst you've got," says the bartender.

The guy says, "Any man would be as bad if they'd just had sex with the woman in my car. She's insatiable. She wants me to go right back out there and do it all again, but I can't."

"Where's your car?" the bartender asks.

"At the roadside," the guy gasps.

"Tell you what," says the bartender, "you watch the bar for me while I go out and take your place."

"Be my guest, the broad's a nympo. She'll do anybody."

So the bartender goes outside and gets in the car. It's totally dark, so the woman doesn't realize she's with a different man. They get right down to it, humping away. Five minutes later there's a knock on the window. It's a cop and he shines his flashlight on the naked couple.

"What's going on here?" he asks.

"It's all right, officer," explains the bartender. "She's my wife."

"Oh, sorry sir, I didn't realize..."

"Neither did I till you switched on that damned light."

Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire.

Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

You might be a redneck if…

Your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

Giving a man his physical, a doctor noticed several dark, ugly bruises on his shins, so he asked, "Do you play hockey, soccer, or any physical sport?"
"Not at all. I just play bridge with my wife."

Before shipping out to Europe with the Army Air Corps during World War II, my father loaned his buddy $20.00. The two were assigned to different units and lost touch. Months later, my father's plane was shot down. Bleeding from shrapnel wounds, he bailed out and was greeted by German soldiers who took him as a prisoner. After a long train ride, little food, and days of forced marching, he arrived at his assigned stalag.

As he entered the compound, he heard a familiar voice. "You followed me all the way here for a measly $20.00?"