Joke

Irish Quickies!

Two Irishmen are sitting in a small town bar, where Mick bragged to Sean:
"You know, I had me every woman in this town, except of course, me mother and me sister."
"Well," Sean replied, "between you and me we got 'em all."

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
"Aye, That he did, Father..."
"And what did he say?"
"He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that damn gun..."

Pat & Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before the morning break, Pat yelled "Mick, I've lost me finger!"
"Have you now," said Mick. "And how did you do it?"
Pat replied "I just touched this big, shiny spinning thing here like this ... damn! There goes another one!"

Mahoney said to his friend McMaken, "I haven't been feelin' me self lately!"
"Tis a good thing, too - that was a nasty habit you had!" responded McMaken.