Joke

OCCUPATIONS I'VE HAD IN MY LIFE (Thanks to Dave A.)

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. . .
couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor,
but I just wasn't suited for it, mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

Then I tried to be a chef, I figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker,
but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician,
but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor,
but I didn't have any patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory I tried,
but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman,
but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a workout center,
but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian, but there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks,
but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind.

SO I RETIRED AND FOUND I AM PERFECT FOR THE JOB!