In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
Punday · October 5, 2026
What is a rainbow?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. -- Michael Masser and Linda Creed
Male and female represent the two sides of the great radical dualism. But in fact they are perpetually passing into one another. Fluid hardens to solid, solid rushes to fluid. There is no wholly masculine man, no purely feminine woman. -- Margaret Fuller, Woman in the Nineteenth Century, 1845
The lesson which life repeats and constantly enforces is 'look under foot.' You are always nearer the divine and the true sources of your power than you think. -- John Burroughs
As early as the 14th century, divers in the Persian Gulf used goggles made of clear, polished tortoise shell.
One inch of rain contains the same amount of water as a ten-inch snowstorm.
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
After many years of faithful duty with the US Forest Service, their beloved fire prevention mascot was unceremoniously "retired." Still in the prime of his life and bearing one of the world's most recognizable faces, he quickly found work as a spokesman for the world's leading exporter of diamonds.
He's now working as "Smokey DeBeers."
suspenders?An American scientist once visited the offices of the great Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Neils Bohr, in Copenhagen, and was amazed to find that over his desk a horseshoe was nailed to the wall.The American said with a nervous laugh, "Surely you don't believe that horseshoe will bring you good luck, do you, Professor Bohr?"Bohr chuckled. "I believe no such thing, my good friend. Not at all. I am scarcely likely to believe in such foolish nonsense. However, I am told that a horseshoe will bring you good luck whether you believe in it or not!"
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.
On a road through a desert in Arizona, a preacher named Nathaniel Evans walked every day, preaching to the many people who roared past in their cars.
"Repent, the End of the World is Nigh!" was his constant theme. One day, as he was walking, he came to a big lever in the middle of nowhere, just by the side of the road. 'Pull this to end the world' said the sign on it.
Now Nathaniel saw this as the perfect spot for him to preach, and soon many automobiles were parked nearby, the people all swayed by his powerful elocution.
All was well, until there were so many people, and so many cars, that the road was nearly blocked. Then a big 18-wheel rig came down the highway, and couldn't stop in time. The driver had a choice: run over Nathaniel, or run over the Lever.
As the driver explained to the Highway Patrol later, he actually had no choice. Pointing to the red smear on the road that used to be Nathaniel Evans, he said
"Better Nate than Lever."
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL
Adventurous............Slept with all your mates
40-ish............49
Athletic............No boobs
Average looking........Face like an arse
Beautiful............Pathological liar
Contagious smile........Does a lot of pills
Educated............Was screwed to bits at university
Emotionally secure......On medication
Feminist............Fat
Free spirit............Junkie
Friendship first.........Former slut
Fun.................Annoying
Gentle.................Dull
Good listener..........Autistic
New age................Body hair problems
Old fashioned..........No BJs
Open minded............Desperate
Outgoing...............Loud and very embarrassing
Passionate.............Sloppy drunk
Poet...................Depressive
Professional............B1tch
Romantic...............Frigid
Social.................Crotch like a wizard's sleeve
Voluptuous.............Very fat
Large lady.............Immensely fat
Wants soul mate.........Stalker
Widow..................Murderer.
You might be a redneck if…
Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
A young couple left the sex therapist's office determined to develop more effective body language. "Alright," said the husband, "when I want sex, I'll rub your right breast. When I don't want sex, I'll rub your left breast."
"Okay," said the wife, "What should I do then?"
"Well, when you want to have sex," he told her, "rub my penis once. When you don't want any sex, rub it 200 times."
While I was dining in the restaurant of a large hotel, I heard a loud crash. A waitress had dropped a whole tray of coffee cups, plates, and dishes. Being only a couple tables away from her, I felt a stinging pain in my hand where I was cut from the shattered debris. I was immediately escorted to the hotel doctor.
"What happened?" he asked.
I said, "Attacked by a flying saucer."
What is a rainbow?
A rainbow is merely a large band of parallel stripes, blended at the rims, which displays the full spectrum of colors that make up the sun's white light. This brilliant display appears to the naked eye when the sun's light breaks up as it passes through, the prism-like raindrops during a rain-shower.
This immense, curved spectrum of light appears only when both the elements of sunshine and rainfall present. As the sunlight enters the falling raindrops, it breaks up into its true colors of red, orange, yellow, blue, and violet. These colors are always arranged according to their wavelengths, with red being at one end of the spectrum, and violet at the other. Once inside the droplet, the particles of colored light bounce from side to side, reflect off of the far side of the droplet, exit the droplet, and reassemble, according to their wavelengths, to form a rainbow.
Simply because you happen to be in the right place at the right time, when both elements necessary to form a rainbow are present, does not mean that you will actually see one. For the human eye to see these multi-colored bands, ranging from red to violet, his body must be strategically positioned between the sun and the rain, with his back to the sun.
If the sun, the eye, and the center of the rainbow's arc are not in a straight line, the show is over, before it began. This explains why we only see rainbows in the early morning or late afternoon…it is physically impossible for us to align our eyes with the sun at other times of day, as it is high above our heads! Logically, a morning rainbow appears when the sun shines in the east, and the rain falls in the west, and an afternoon rainbow appears when the sun shines in the west, and the rain falls in the east. If lucky, and a bit superstitious, and you do find a pot of gold somewhere over the rainbow, please let us know. After all, we gave you the directions!