A hungry African lion came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
Monday
Punday · December 21, 2026
Trivia question....
How do spiders spin their webs?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
Consider these words of wisdom....
When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane. - Hermann Hesse
If poetry comes not as naturally as the leaves to a tree, it better not come at all. - John Keats
Never fear the want of business. A man who qualifies himself well for his calling, never fails of employment. -- Thomas Jefferson
I bet ya' didn't know....
On Christmas TV shows, Santa and the elves come from central casting, but the reindeer come from Tom Scheib. The Milltown, Wis., reindeer farmer travels up to 6000 miles each year to deliver the hoofed "talent" for commercials, festivals, and morning TV shows.
A crumb of bread crust has 8 times more of an antioxidant that may prevent cancer than a crumb from the rest of the slice.
Things that make you go Hmmm....
I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?
Jokes & stories....
Shortly after returning home from a trip to Sea World in Florida, a friend went shopping for swimsuits with her children.
When she emerged from the dressing room in a contrasting black-and-white suit, her four-year-old son, exclaimed his approval: "Oh, Mommy, I love it! You look just like Shamu!"
The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.
Two elderly residents, one male and one female, were sitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening.
The old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting, and for $5 I'll have sex with you right over there in that rocking chair."
The old lady looked surprised but didn't say a word.
The old man continued, "For $10 I'll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for $20 I'll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you've ever had in your life."
The old lady still says nothing but after a couple minutes, starts digging down in her purse. She pulls out a wrinkled $20 bill and holds it up.
"So you want the nice romantic evening in my room," says the old man.
"Hell, no," replies the old lady. "I want four times in the rocking chair!"
Prayer For The Perfect Man
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One whose "Willy" is thick and long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
When he promises to call, he won't wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash he won't be annoyed,
& opens my door,
& begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who will make love to my Mind, knows just what to say when I ask, "How big's my behind"?
One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin',
In the hall, the shower, the garden and kitchen,
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And never attempts to screw my best friend,
And as I kneel and pray by my bed,
I look at the Shit Head you sent me instead!!!
Amen
You might be a redneck if…
There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.
The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to law school and graduated with honors. Then he went home to join his father's firm.
At the end of his first day at work, he rushed into his father's office and said, "Father, father! In one day I broke the Smith case that you've been working on for ten years!"
His father responded: "You idiot, we lived on the funding of that case for ten years!"
Things That Become Evident When a Baby Arrives
'Finally, you have someone you can beat at "Got Your Nose," at least for a year or so.
'You develop a liking for mini vans sensible shoes.
'You're not so tolerant of strangers asking to touch your round little belly anymore now that you are just FAT.
'Goodbye, Happy Hour-Hello, Happy Meal!!
'Junior looks adorable in his little "sandbox," but the cat is seriously torqued about it.
'For efficiency, your paycheck is now direct-deposited to Disney.
Trivia answer....
How do spiders spin their webs?
To spin a tale about the spider, member of the species arachnid, we must first examine the common thread that ties them together...the way they produce the silk they use to weave their webs, as well as other contraptions, to suit their particular needs.
Spiders differ from insects in that they have eight legs, eight eyes, in most cases, no wings, and have only two parts to their bodies, one of which produces silk. They are found in a host of climates, can scurry across the ground, can scale plants, and can skate on, and live in, water. These factors determine how the spider uses it's silk, and what type of silk it produces.
Production of silk begins in certain glands located in the abdomen, or belly, of the beast. Spinning organs at the tip of the abdomen, contain many tiny holes, and function much as a sieve, through which the silk is pressed. The silk strained through is in liquid form, but immediately takes on a solid form, much like cotton candy does, when exposed to air.
The spider creates a variety of types of silk, each of which serves a separate, yet distinct function. Spiders use the sticky kind to spin webs, to catch and to hold the insects they invite into their parlors until they are ready for dinner. They use the non-sticky, stronger variety to tether down the spokes of the wheel, and yet a different kind of silk for their cocoons.
Even the webs the spider spins differ greatly, depending upon the factors listed above. The most common of all webs we see is the wheel-shaped web. Less common are the so-called "sheet" webs, which blanket surfaces with a funnel, or dome like shape. The trap-door spiders burrow out their webs, and complete them with built-in chutes, through which their unsuspecting guests fall through, right onto the spider's plate. The web we see least often, is the air-tight, bell-shaped home some spiders build...probably because it is completely submerged in water!