In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
Women's Day · December 23, 2026
What animal can leap 12 times its height?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
Do what thy manhood bids thee do, from none but self expect applause; He noblest lives and noblest dies who makes and keeps his self-made laws. -- Sir Richard Francis Burton
The simple solution for disappointment depression: Get up and get moving. Physically move. Do. Act. Get going. -- Peter McWilliams, Life 101
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. | Mark Twain
The Everglades are home to both alligators and crocodiles, the only place in the world where they co-exist.
A building in which silence is enforced, like a library or school room, is referred to as a "silentium."
If the invisable man stole Wonder Womans invisible plane, would she know that it was gone?
According to a recent article i just read on nutrition, they said eating right doesn't have to be complicated. Nutritionists say there is a simple way to tell if you're eating right. Colors. Fill your plates with bright colors. Greens, reds, yellows.
In fact, I did that this morning. I had an entire bowl of MM's. It was delicious! I never knew eating right could be so easy.
Dear Friends,
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem. The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming. The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird shit.
On top of all this Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and some people who can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January. Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together and bring you the things you want. This year I suggest you get your asses down to Wal-Mart before everything is gone.
Love, Santa
It's okay to use the Polaroid Land Camera on a boat.
An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then 4 year old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. 'Be still, my heart', thought my friend, 'my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!'
Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
One woman says to another, "I can't understand why you haven't gone to see that new gynecologist yet!" "Mine gynecologist is fine. I don't need to change."
But the new one's so young and handsome, while your gynecologist is so old!"
The other woman replies with a smile, "Yeah, I know. His hands shake all the time!"
You might be a redneck if…
Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
He loved her very much. He wanted this Valentine's day to be special, so he had ordered a bottle of her favorite liquor imported from France and it had arrived in time for the occasion.
On his way home, he stopped at the local florist. He had planned to have a bouquet made with her favorite flower, white anemones. But to his dismay, he found that the florist had sold all her flowers and had only a few sterns of feathery ferns left for decoration.
In a moment of inspiration, he had the answer. He asked the florist to make a bouquet using the flask of liquor instead of flowers and what she produced was magnificent well beyond his expectations. He added a card, and proceeded home.
When he arrived, his wife was beautiful in her most elegant gown, and it was apparent that she had spent much of the day preparing a romantic candlelight dinner for the two of them.
He presented her with his gift, and she opened the card to read, "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder."
With a tear in her eye, she whispered to him lovingly, "Yes, and with fronds like these, who needs anemones."
An old couple was just settling in to bed one night when the phone rang.
The husband got out of bed and went into the living room to answer the phone. His wife could hear him say, "Hello?" Then he said, "Sure is." Then he hung up the receiver and went back to bed.
A minute later the phone rang again. The husband got out of bed and went into the other room and his wife could hear him say, "Hello?" and then he said, "Sure is." And again he hung up the receiver and went back to bed.
The wife asked who it was.
The man said he didn't know.
The wife then asked, "Well, what did the person say?"
He said, "It's odd, a woman just keeps saying, 'Long distance from Chicago..'"
What animal can leap 12 times its height?
Jackrabbits are powerful jumpers.
A twenty inch adult can leap twenty feet in a single bound.
Jackrabbits are actually hares, not rabbits. The black-tailed jackrabbit is long-legged and lean, about 17-31 inches, and weighs 3-7 pounds. Its fur is buff-colored to blend in with the arid environment. Its relatively long tail has a black stripe, and its long brown ears have black tips. The white-tailed jackrabbit is 18-22 inches long and weighs 5-10 pounds. It is a brownish gray color in the summer and white or pale gray in the winter. Its tail is nearly always white.
Jackrabbits are primarily nocturnal and come alive as night falls. During the day, they use shrubs and/or shallow burrows for cover. They may lie crouched in “forms” they’ve made in the grass by using the same spot many times. On warm days they relax in the shade of a small bush or fence post and spend the day snoozing and grooming themselves. They feed mostly on needle-and-threadgrass, yarrow, turpentine springparsley, and tumblemustard. They depend heavily on shrubs such as sagebrush for protective cover. Jackrabbits are a sagebrush obligate species, meaning they need sagebrush to survive. Black-tailed jackrabbits are the principal prey of golden eagles and are an important food source for coyotes, common ravens, the great horned owl, long-eared owl, barn owl, ferruginous hawk, Swainson’s hawk, and red-tailed hawk. Humans also are a predator of jackrabbits. White-tailed jackrabbits occur in sagebrush/bunchgrass habitats, generally at higher elevations than black-tailed jackrabbits. Their diet consists primarily of forbs during summer months and shrubs in the winter.