In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
Punday · January 11, 2027
Why are manhole covers round?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
He that climbs the tall tree has won right to the fruit. -- Sir Walter Scott
Slight not what's near, while aiming at what's far. -- Euripides, 'Rhesus'
It has all been very interesting. -- Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, last words, 1762
Mount Rushmore, in the Black Hills of South Dakota, is not the largest sculpture in the world. At only six stories high, Mount Rushmore is surpassed by just the head of the fabulous Crazy Horse Memorial, a work in progress that's also in the Black Hills. When completed, the mountain carving will be about 563 feet tall, almost twice the height of the Statue of Liberty.
Half of us feel highly stressed during the holidays, according to a new study by Visa USA, and much of that stress is financial, yet only 38% of the Americans surveyed said they set a budget.
How come when a door's open it's ajar, but when a jar's open it's not a door?
Our supervisor recently made a casual comment about my shaggy mane of hair. He then went on to extol the virtues of a good haircut, which, he insisted, makes an elderly man look younger and a younger man seem more mature.
"How would a haircut make a middle-aged man like me appear?" I asked.
"Still employed," he answered.
Male Blonde Jokes
You know it is a male blonde...
When he thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.
When he thinks a quarterback is a refund.
When he suggests you meet him at the corner of WALK & DON'T WALK.
When the bottom of an application form says "Sign here", and he puts "Leo".
When on his job applications, he puts "Hooked on Phonics" for education.
If it takes him two hours to watch "60 Minutes."
If you're waiting in line to be seated at a nice restaurant, you can always figure a wait of two hours or a twenty whichever comes first.
A blonde woman, a black woman and a hispanic woman were traveling across the country by jet. Half way through the trip, the pilot comes on the intercom and announces, "I have some bad news. We are having major engine trouble and a crash is inevitable, so please prepare yourself."
The blonde immediately opens her purse and frantically touches up her makeup. The Hispanic woman says, "What are you doing? We're going to crash! We're not going to a party!"
The blonde answers, "I know, but I heard that they always save the beautiful people first in a crash."
The Hispanic woman then goes through her purse and puts on every bit of jewelry she has and puts on the beautiful new sweater she was taking to her mother as a gift.
The black woman see this and asks, "Girl, are you crazy? What are you doing?"
The Hispanic woman says, "I heard, that in a crash, they always look for the rich people first."
The black woman then jumps up and removes her skirt and panties. The other two women ask her what she is doing.
"I don't know where you two get your information, but when I see a plane crash on the news, the most important thing is finding the black box!"
A woman's husband asked her what she wanted for her birthday. She thought for a moment and said, "This year I just want cold, hard cash for a change."
The following day her husband filled her request. He put $20 in nickels, dimes and quarters into a quart jar, then filled it with water and placed it in the freezer. On her birthday he handed his wife a solidly frozen bottle of change.
You might be a redneck if…
Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
You should note that the number 7 can be rolled with the most dice combinations, which is why the casinos use 7 as the "craps roll".
Please review the roll combination table below:
Total Odds Combinations
2 35-1 1 + 1
3 17-1 1 + 2, 2 + 1
4 11-1 1 + 3, 3 + 1, 2 + 2
5 8-1 1 + 4, 4 + 1, 2 + 3, 3 + 2
6 6.2-1 1 + 5, 5 + 1, 2 + 4, 4 + 2, 3 + 3
7 5-1 1 + 6, 6 + 1, 2 + 5, 5 + 2, 3 + 4, 4 + 3
8 6.2-1 2 + 6, 6 + 2, 3 + 5, 5 + 3, 4 + 4
9 8-1 3 + 6, 6 + 3, 4 + 5, 5 + 4,
10 11-1 4 + 6, 6 + 4, 5 + 5
11 17-1 5 + 6, 6 + 5
12 35-1 6 + 6
As you can see, there are far more combinations of the dice that will total a 7 than will total a 2. Therefore, the odds against rolling a 2 are much higher (less likely) than that of rolling a 7. The frequency of these numbers being rolled is the foundation on which the game of craps is based.
Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1950.
Symptoms:
1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.
2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail.
3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.
4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.
5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.
6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished.
7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND."
8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE."
IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS."
Why are manhole covers round?
Why are manhole covers round and not square or rectangular?
So they don't fall in!
Manholes, which interconnect underground sewerage pipes, and serve as a point of entry for cleaning the pipes, are located at every major sewer pipe junction, and are capped with round manhole covers. The reason for the circular construction of these covers is, quite simply, that covers of any other shape would fall through the manholes by virtue of their varying diameters. Circular manhole covers do not vary in width, or in diameter, as is the case with these other shapes, thus remaining in place despite the street traffic running roughshod over them.
Manufacturers craft the manhole covers together with the smaller sized lip, upon which they rest, at the same time to ensure a tightly sealed fit. Additionally, the manufacture of circular manhole covers is easier and more accurate than the manufacture of covers of any other shape. Lastly, round manhole covers, once removed, require less lifting and less manpower, as their shape allows them to be rolled.