A Farmer's Will
TO MY WIFE: My overdraft at the bank. Maybe she can explain it.
TO MY BANKER: My soul. He has the mortgage on it anyway.
TO MY NEIGHBOR: My clown suit. He'll need it if he continues to farm as he has in the past.
TO THE ASCS: My grain bin. I was planning to let them take it next year anyway.
TO THE FARM ADVISOR: 50 bushels of corn to see if he can hit the market. I never did.
TO THE JUNK MAN: All my machinery. He's had his eye on it for years.
TO MY UNDERTAKER: A special request. I want six implement and fertilizer dealers for my pallbearers. They're used to carrying me.
TO THE WEATHERMAN: Rain, sleet, and snow for the funeral please. No sense having good weather now.
TO THE GRAVEDIGGER: Don't bother. The hole I'm in should be big enough.
TO THE MONUMENT MAKER: For the epitaph: "Here lies a farmer who has now properly assumed all of his obligations."
In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
Friday
January 15, 2027
Trivia question....
Why do leaves change color?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
Consider these words of wisdom....
When you appeal to force, there's one thing you must never do - lose. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves. -- Carl Jung
Strange is our situation here on earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: that man is here for the sake of other men - above all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness depends. - Albert Einstein
I bet ya' didn't know....
There are 45 miles of nerves in the adult human body!
There is a seven letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters, "therein": the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, herein.
Things that make you go Hmmm....
Before I can retaliate, does someone first have to taliate?
Jokes & stories....
Classic CONFUCIUS SAYS.....
"Man who run in front of car get tired"
"Man who run behind car get exhausted"
"Two wrongs not make a right - Three lefts do"
"Man who eat many prunes get good run for money."
"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left."
"Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!"
"Man who sit on tack get point!"
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"
"Man who lives in glass house should change in basement"
"If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient."
I am reading a very interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
Airplanes Versus Women
Airplanes can kill you quickly; a woman takes her time.
Airplanes don't get mad if you 'touch and go.'
Airplanes don't object to a preflight inspection.
Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.
Airplanes can be flown any time of the month.
Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you have flown before.
Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.
Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.
Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.
Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.
However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it's a bad thing.
A friend and I were shopping for dresses for her three-year-old girls to wear to a wedding. In the store, another girl staring intently at Sarah and Becky asked, "Are those girls twins?"
"Actually they're triplets," I explained. "They have a brother at home."
"Wow," she replied. "They sure look like twins to me."
You might be a redneck if…
You think cur is a breed of dog.
One semester when my brother, Peter, attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portrait for a class assignment. Peter agreed, and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.
The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor.
The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.
"The head is too big," the professor explained. "The shoulders are too wide, and the feet are enormous."
The next day, the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one look at my brother. "Okay, A minus," he said.
A well-known chef bought several cases of carp. Endeavoring to create a new signature dish, he tried combining herbs and spices with shortening but found that the cooking time had to be exact. So when the chef received a phone call during the dinner hour, he had to cut it short, explaining,
"1 left my carp in saffron Crisco."
Trivia answer....
Why do leaves change color?
Leaves change color in the fall, because the chemical changes in the leaves, as their nutrients drain into the tree’s branches, trunk, and roots for winter storage, cause the leaves to stop producing the green pigment chlorophyll.
Chlorophyll’s role in the leaves, to absorb sunlight and to use the sun’s energy, is no longer necessary, and the remaining chlorophyll in the leaves disintegrates.
When the pigment chlorophyll departs, secondary pigments, substances that also absorb light, emerge to take its place, and change the leaves’ colors to theirs. For example, yellow and orange leaves contain the pigment carotene, the same pigment that gives carrots their bright orange color.
Red, wine-red, and purple leaves contain the pigments anthrocyanins, which also lend their color to radishes, cabbage, roses, and geraniums. The main difference between carotene and anthrocyanins is that the anthrocyanins only form in the leaves in the fall when the weather becomes cooler, especially when the temperature falls to between 32 degrees to 45 degrees Fahrenheit.
One characteristic of the leaves’ color is that, for the most part, it is inherited. The variations in the color, however, are determined by weather conditions. The richest and most brilliant foliage appears after weeks of cool, sunny weather in places in the United States such as New England.
The color of the leaves fade as fall turns to winter, and the stems that secure them to the branches begin to loosen with the change in weather. The cells at the ends of the stems fall apart, leaving the leaves attached to the branches by the thin veins that, in warmer weather, transported water and nutrients to the leaves. At this point, virtually any movement can break the veins and the leaves tumble to the ground.
Although the yellow and red pigments last for a few days once on the ground, they soon disintegrate just as the green chlorophyll pigment did. All that remains are brown leaves colored by tannins, which also give tea its brown color. Without a water supply, the brown leaves carpeting the ground become dry and brittle, and the trees bare.