In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
Punday · March 1, 2027
Before he became a well-known cookie mogul in the 1970s and 1980s, he worked for a time as a William Morris talent agent. Who is he?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
If power was an illusion, wasn't weakness necessarily one also? -- Lois McMaster Bujold, A Civil Campain, 1999
To believe in God or in a guiding force because someone tells you to is the height of stupidity. We are given senses to receive our information within. With our own eyes we see, and with our own skin we feel. With our intelligence, it is intended that we understand. But each person must puzzle it out for himself or herself. -- Sophy Burnham
He felt about books as doctors feel about medicines, or managers about plays - cynical, but hopeful. -- Dame Rose Macaulay, Crewe Train, 1926
Pharoah Ramses II, who ruled Egypt for 77 years, was the father of 119 children - 60 boys and 59 girls. He had a likeness of each of them carved on the front wall of the Temple of Abydos.
Adam Moltke (1710-1792), a friend of King Frederick V, was the father of 22 sons. Five became cabinet ministers, four were ambassadors, two became generals, and the other 11 were mayors, provincial governors, or privy councilors of state.
If you sign a paper with an X, and then change your mind, how do you X it out?
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free."
Here's an update for you: Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage.
Why?
Because women finally realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
Some people are extremely impressed when you tell them you're a Navy SEAL. Case in point: My grandson’s pre-K class on Career Day. I regaled them with stories of my exploits in the military. After I finished, hands shot up into the air all over the classroom. The kids were eager to ask questions.
"So," asked one little girl, "can you balance a ball on the end of your nose?"
The insurance pays the full book value ($312) for your 1956 T Bird.
In 1975, the CIA got President Thieu out of Vietnam and put him up at an apartment in Paris where they had formerly housed Argentina's deposed president, Juan Peron. Fortunately for the CIA's budget, the rent for the apartment had not increased since Peron had been there.
In fact, Thieu could live as cheaply as Juan!
Try some of these for Valentine's Day??? It's not to early to plan ahead. These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line..... but least romantic:
Love may be beautiful,
love may be bliss
but I only slept with you,
because I was pissed
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
sugar is sweet,
and so are you.
But the roses are wilting,
the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life
I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming
My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
You might be a redneck if…
You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
Today at work I was moving a computer system and listening to the conversation at the point of sale. A customer had brought his caller ID box back into the store and was rather irritably asking for a refund, as the device didn't work. The customer service rep had taken it out of the box and was making sure that the customer had attached it to his phone properly. During her demonstration of the proper way to hook up the gadget, she removed the static cling label off the front, which showed a sample caller ID screen on it.
It was very difficult for her to maintain a straight face as the customer realized the reason the numbers on the front never changed. . .
May the Irish hills caress you.
May her lakes and rivers bless you.
May the luck of the Irish enfold you.
May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.
May your neighbors respect you,
Trouble neglect you,
The angels protect you,
And Heaven accept you.
May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.
Walls for the wind,
And a roof for the rain,
And drinks beside the fire -
Laughter to cheer you
And those you love near you,
And all that your heart may desire!
Always remember to forget
The things that made you sad.
But never forget to remember
The things that made you glad.
Always remember to forget
The friends that proved untrue.
But never forget to remember
Those that have stuck by you.
Always remember to forget
The troubles that passed away.
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day.
May God be with you and bless you,
May you see your children's children,
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings.
May you know nothing but happiness
From this day forward.
May you always have work for your hands to do.
May your pockets hold always a coin or two.
May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
May you live as long as you want,
And never want as long as you live.
May you live to be a hundred years,
With one extra year to repent!
May there be a generation of children
On the children of your children.
May God grant you many years to live,
For sure He must be knowing
The earth has angels all too few
And heaven is overflowing.
~Traditional~
Before he became a well-known cookie mogul in the 1970s and 1980s, he worked for a time as a William Morris talent agent. Who is he?
Before Wally "Famous" Amos became a well-known cookie mogul in the 1970s and 1980s, he worked for a time as a William Morris talent agent.
Originally, Wally Amos, a true cookie lover, baked cookies in his home to share with his friends. In 1975 he perfected his special recipe to create the ultimate chocolate chip cookie. He then started his own company with the commitment to use only the best ingredients, like rich chocolate and flavorful nuts. Those homemade-tasting cookies were so special that they got famous just by word of mouth.
Today, Famous Amos® Cookies still meet these high expectations and are enjoyed by all true cookie lovers.