In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
March 2, 2027
How does caffeine affect us?
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Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time. -- Thomas Merton, 'No Man Is an Island'
The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself. - Sir Richard F. Burton
The human race afraid of nothing, rushes on through every crime. - Horace (B.C. 65-8)
Franklin Delano Roosevelt's 1943 speech "Four Freedoms" led to a series of Norman Rockwell paintings entitled FREEDOM OF SPEECH, FREEDOM TO WORSHIP, FREEDOM FROM WANT, and FREEDOM FROM FEAR.
Nostradamus was born into a Jewish family that converted to Catholicism.
I noticed at my job yesterday that a 2 liter of Pepsi cost 72 cents and a 20 oz Pepsi cost 78 cents.
A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past a row of empty shopping carts when the cart-girl standing there called after him, "Excuse me, did you want that cart?"
"No," he answered. "I'm only after one thing."
As he walked into the store, he heard her murmur, "Just like a man."
Sally had lived a good life, having been married four times. Now she stood before the Pearly Gates.
The angel at the gates said to her, "I see that you first of all married a banker, then an actor, next a pastor and lastly an undertaker. Why? This does not seem appropriate for a Christian woman."
"Oh yes it is," Sally replied. "It's one for the money, two for the show, three to make ready and four to go."
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
I was getting into my car when I noticed a dent. On the windshield was a note and a phone number from the driver.
"I feel terrible," the woman apologized when I called. "I hit your car as I was pulling into the next parking spot."
"Please don't worry," I said to her. "I'm sure our insurance companies will take care of everything."
"Thank you for your understanding," she said. "You're so much nicer than the man I hit on my way out."
Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject turned to getting older. The first guy said "Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older."
"What do you mean?" asked the second guy.
"Well," replied the first. "I can barely remember the last time I got aroused in bed, but my wife is healthier than ever!"
"Healthier? How is that?" his buddy wondered.
"Years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed she'd get these terrible headaches." he answered. "Now that we're older, she hasn't had a headache in years."
You might be a redneck if…
Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85 year old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:
"Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
"Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing.
"We even called up Earleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep. And no matter what we tried we still couldn't get the jar open!"
An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.
"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."
The farmer scratched his grizzled head.
"Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."
Random Cartoon Title: Safe Sex in Middle E
How does caffeine affect us?
Caffeine is an addictive drug, affecting 90% of all Americans, which alters the brain's natural state, and stimulates it in a manner similar to the amphetamines cocaine and heroin.
The mechanisms employed by caffeine, cocaine, and heroin, are to close blood vessels in the brain, so the brain and body cannot sleep, to cause the release of adrenaline into the body, so the body remains active and alert, and to manipulate dopamine production in the brain, so the person experiences a temporary "high."
Caffeine may be found in its natural state in many plants, including tea leaves, coffee beans, and cocoa nuts. The pure form of caffeine is a bitter, white, crystalline powder derived from the decaffeinating process of coffee and tea. The vast number of products in which caffeine comes, range from coffee, to tea, to colas, to milk chocolate, and to pain relievers, just to mention a few.
Most people are unaware of caffeine's addictive properties. Those who consume 300 mg. or more per day, suffer from withdrawal symptoms if they abruptly cut off their caffeine supply. Most users will suffer from symptoms of fatigue and depression, irritability, tremors, jumpiness, deprivation of deep sleep, and vascular headaches, as the blood vessels in the brain dilate. Caffeine, however, can be medically useful as a cardiac stimulant, and also as a mild diuretic used to flush the system.
One of the mechanisms that caffeine addiction, cocaine addiction, and heroin addiction share, is that they block an adenosine's ability to slow the nerve cells' activity in preparation for sleep, and instead increase the speed of their activity and of the neuron firing in the brain. The caffeine causes the blood vessels in the brain to constrict, because it has blocked the adenosine's ability to open them to allow sleep. The ability of caffeine to close the blood vessels is why many pain relievers contain caffeine. If a person has a vascular headache, the caffeine in the medicine will shut down the blood vessels, thus easing the pain.
The increased neuron firing in the brain triggers the pituitary glands to release hormones that tell the adrenal glands to produce adrenaline, also known as epinephrine. Adrenaline, the "fight-or-flight" hormone, gives the user's body a boost, and heightens the person's alertness.
One final mechanism caffeine, cocaine, and heroin share, is their ability to manipulate dopamine production. Dopamine, a neurotransmitter, activates the "pleasure centers" in certain parts of the brain, and simply makes a person feel good. Naturally, the pleasurable effect produced by dopamine manipulation plays a prominent role in caffeine addiction.
The short-term effects resulting from caffeine consumption, such as alertness, renewed energy, and pleasure, may not necessarily outweigh the longer-term effects of caffeine addiction. Caffeine, despite its similarities to amphetamines, has side effects that are not nearly as severe, and withdrawal symptoms that are, generally, not life-threatening.