Dear Abby,
I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?
Sam
Dear Sam,
Yes. Run for public office.
In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
Thursday
March 11, 2027
Trivia question....
Why doesn't an igloo melt inside?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
Consider these words of wisdom....
Friendship make prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it. -- Cicero, On Friendship, 44 B.C.
About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age. -- Gloria Pitzer, in Reader's Digest, 1979
A tough lesson in life that one has to learn is that not everybody wishes you well. -- Dan Rather
I bet ya' didn't know....
Ironically, a Baptist minister developed Bourbon, and the area where the alcoholic beverage was first made, Bourbon County in Kentucky, is dry.
Mary Todd once dated both Abe Lincoln and Stephen Douglas.
Things that make you go Hmmm....
If you were standing at the North Pole, would the needle in your compass break the glass pointing straight up?
Jokes & stories....
A man walks into a bar sits down and say, "Bartender, got any specials today?" Bartender says, "Yes, we have mixture of Pabst Blue Ribbon and Smirnoff Vodka."
Man says, "Damn, what the hell is that?"
Bartender says, "Well we call it a 'Pabst Smir'!"
Two silkworms were in a race. They ended up in a tie.
Where am I?
How did I get here?
Why does my head hurt?
You're in a hospital, sir. I'm with the police. We weren't sure you were going to wake up. You had a golf club wrapped around your neck. Just tell us everything you remember.
Well, I was teaching my wife golf. Of course, I won every hole. But on the little par 3, 17th hole, we both hit right to the green, and we both putted right to the pin. When I walked to the flag, I saw one putt had overshot, but the other ball had apparently sunk.
I didn't know whose it was, so I pulled the flag, looked in, saw it was her Spalding in there, and I said, "Looks like your hole, dear."
That was the last thing I remember.
The other day I met a good friend of mine who is a genetic engineer. He was happy to tell me of his job. His latest project is the splicing of DNA from different specie of birds.
First he combined the DNA from a pheasant and a hen. It worked! He called it a "Phen."
Next he successfully combined a pheasant and a goose. He called it a "Phoose."
Yesterday, he explained, he finally was able to mix a pheasant and a duck. He called it... "Charlie."
You might be a redneck if…
You consider a three piece suit to be&; a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.
My friend wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway.
"I'll tell you what," he told her. "In the spirit of compromise, why don't you name the boat?"
Being a good sport, she accepted.
When her husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage, this is the name he saw painted on the side:
"For Sale."
Padraic Flaherty came home drunk every evening toward ten. Now, the Missus was never too happy about it, either. So one night she hides in the cemetery and figures to scare the beejeezus out of him. As poor Pat wanders by, up from behind a tombstone she jumps in a red devil costume screaming, "Padraic Sean Flaherty, sure and ya' don't give up you're drinkin' and it's to Hell I'll take ye'".
Pat, undaunted, staggered back and demanded, "Who the hell ARE you?". Too that the Missus replied, "I'm the divil ya' damned old fool".
To which Flaherty remarked, "Damned glad to meet you sir, I'm married to yer sister."
Trivia answer....
Why doesn't an igloo melt inside?
The igloo, a temporary winter hunting shelter to the Alaskan Eskimo does, in fact, melt inside, but not to a great extent.
The snowflakes falling outside of the igloo, in the harsh Alaskan winter, quickly melt when they land on its roof, and provide a replacement layer of insulation for the igloo. The ongoing freezing and re-freezing of the igloo, hardens it, and transforms the blocks of snow the Eskimos used in the construction process into a solid, icy, domed refuge. The igloo can now withstand the weight of a massive polar bear, should one happen along and have the urge to play "king of the mountain."
The initial freezing and re-freezing of the igloo takes place at end of the igloo's construction. First, the men must dig a trench into a fresh snow- drift, and, using their knives, cut blocks of snow from it that are specifically shaped to face inward when fully laid out. They then lay the blocks on their edges to form a circle, cutting them to size as they go, so that the end result will be a narrowing spiral. They cap the igloo by dropping a keystone, or block with edges cut wider above than below, into the remaining gap in the roof, and "grout" the gaps between blocks of snow with additional snow.
The men then call in the resident expert, the Eskimo woman, to put the finishing touches on the igloo. Armed with her whale blubber lamp, she enters the structure, lights her lamp to the highest possible setting, beats a hasty retreat, and seals the entrance with a block of ice. Inside the igloo, the snow on the roof begins to melt but, because of its domed design, the water melts down the sides of the igloo, and soaks the blocks of snow. When the blocks are almost completely saturated with water, the Eskimo woman returns, douses her blubber lamp, and allows the frigid outside air to rush in, transforming the fragile snow structure into one of hard, solid ice.
The igloo is now prepared for its temporary tenants, whose body heat, combined with the warmth of one to two blubber lamps, maintain its interior at approximately 55°F. Not until the winter ends, and the exterior temperature rises, does the igloo begin to melt. Hopefully, the Eskimos will be long gone by then, as the igloo will collapse…dome-first!