In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
March 21, 2027
What is a "purdah."?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
Prefer loss to the wealth of dishonest gain; the former vexes you for a time; the latter will bring you lasting remorse. -- Chilo
No man is justified in doing evil on the ground of expediency. -- Theodore Roosevelt, 'The Strenuous Life,' 1900
The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson, The Conduct of Life, 'Fate,' 1860
A female ostrich can lay from 35 to 100 eggs a year. Goes on for about 45 years. About 3,000 ranchers in the United States are now raising ostriches. (For meat, not eggs.)
Eileen Collins was the first woman to pilot (1995) and command (1999) a space shuttle.
I know there are boy ladybugs, but what do you call them?
I was sitting in the foyer of a bank when a young man walked by and then stopped for a moment on his way out. I noticed that one of the latches on his overstuffed briefcase was unfastened, putting strain on the remaining latch.
"You're going to lose the contents of your briefcase," I warned him.
Just then the case burst open. He stared at me with something akin to fear in his eyes as he gasped, "How on earth did you do that?"
Arriving back in Manhattan after a summer in Vermont takes some getting used to.
I was walking from Park Avenue to Madison the first hour of my return when I noticed a woman walking cautiously and apparently painfully. The woman was wearing thongs, her black patent pumps held high in one hand and her other hand outstretched for balance.
"You poor thing, your feet must really hurt," I said as she was about to pass me.
The woman was indignant.
"Wet toenails," she said tersely.
Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires
Geena Davis was a live mannequin in a New York department store.
Huey Lewis slaughtered rabbits: he had to hit them over the head with a pipe, then skin them and gut them.
Ellen DeGeneres was a vacuum-cleaner saleswoman.
Rod Stewart was a gravedigger.
Whoopi Goldberg worked as a makeup artist for a funeral parlor.
Russell Crowe was a bingo caller.
Kevin Richardson played a Ninja Turtle at the Disney-MGM Studios theme park.
Liam Neeson was a forklift driver at the Guinness brewery in Belfast.
Nathan Lane was a police bail interviewer.
Ben Kingsley worked as a penicillin tester.
Willem Dafoe was a magazine binder at Penthouse.
There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in Canada.
Well, there's a very simple answer......
Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low, and the reason for that is purely geographical.
All our oil is in Alberta..... All our dipsticks are in the capital ....Ottawa.
You might be a redneck if…
You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.
Old is when.... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love", and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both".
Old is when.... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
Old is when.... A sexy body on TV catches your attention and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
Old is when.... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
Old is when.... You don't care where your spouse goes just as long as you don't have to go.
Old is when.... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of the police.
Old is when.... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.
Old is when.... "Getting lucky" means finding your car in the parking lot.
Old is when.... An "all nighter" means not getting up to go pee.
Owing to the advance in medical technology, surgical technique and the fact that silicone breast implants have been determined to be perfectly safe, a California cosmetic surgery practice is opening a new office where breast augmentation surgery is done on an outpatient basis in about 30 minutes.
They are going to call the practice, "Jiffy Boob."
Random Cartoon Title: Men Evolve
What is a "purdah."?
In the lands of India the actual translation of the word purdah is screen or veil. Purdah is the practice that includes the seclusion of women from public observation by wearing concealing clothing from head to toe and by the use of high walls, curtains, and screens erected within the home. Purdah is practiced by Muslims and by various Hindus, especially in India. The limits imposed by this practice vary according to different countries and class levels. Generally, those women in the upper and middle class are more likely to practice all aspects of purdah because they can afford to not work outside the home.