In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
March 20, 2027
What is a PEZ? And where did they come from?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
Each success only buys an admission ticket to a more difficult problem. -- Henry Kissinger, Wilson Library Bulletin, March 1979
An honor is not diminished for being shared. -- Lois McMaster Bujold, "Shards of Honor", 1986
Gratitude is our most direct line to God and the angels. The more we seek gratitude, the more reason the angels will give us for gratitude and joy to exist in our lives. -- Terry Lynn Taylor
One out of every five dollars spent by the U.S. federal government is spent on interest on the federal debt. This has been true since 1984.
The little lump of flesh just forward of your ear canal is called a tragus – it also aids in capturing sounds that come from behind you.
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to?
As I approached the church entrance a friend stepped aside and held the door for me.
"Thank you, Bill," I said as I walked through.
"Is there a tip involved?"
"Oh, no, Mary Catherine," he answered. "My mother taught me never to be good for money, but always to be good for nothing."
Here is a segment from a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL REINWALD: Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
Is that seat saved? No, but we're praying for it!
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!" he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!"
"Oh my god", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex!"
Since I was the first to arrive at our high-tech company one morning, I answered the telephone. When the caller asked for field engineering, I explained that it was before normal business hours, but that I would help if I could.
"What's your job there?" the caller asked me.
"I'm the president," I replied.
There was a pause. Then he said, "I'll call back later. I need to talk to someone who knows something."
You might be a redneck if…
You pick your teeth from a catalog.
To nobody's surprise there were protestors today in DC, they attempted to disrupt the metro system and block the Key Bridge, a leading artery into DC from Northern Virginia. I got hosed twice because I come in from No. VA on the metro and it is raining hard which makes traffic worse any way. My commute was long and arduous and only caused further resentment for protestors (but that isn't the point of this thread). Anyway, I'll get to the point.
I got off the train in Rosslyn because I had to use the bathroom and the train was moving quite slowly. When I was getting back on the train, there were protestors on the train platform handing out pamphlets on the evils of America. I politely declined to take one.
An elderly woman was behind me getting off the escalator and a young (20ish) female protestor offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined. The young protestor put her hand on the old woman's shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice said, "Ma'am, don't you care about the children of Iraq?"
The old woman looked up at her and said, "Honey, my first husband died in France during World War II so you could have the right to stand here and bad mouth your country. And if you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella up your ass and open it."
I'm glad to report that loud applause broke out among the onlookers and the young protestor was at a total loss for words.
Hank finally found the nerve to tell his fiancée that he had to break off their engagement so that he could marry another woman.
"Can she cook like I can?" the distraught woman asked.
"Not on her best day." Hank replied.
"Can she buy you expensive gifts like I do?" she asked.
"No, she's broke."
"Well then, is it sex?"
"Nope,... nobody does it like you, babe."
"Then what is it?? What can she do for you that I can't?"
"She can sue me for child support!"
What is a PEZ? And where did they come from?
In 1927, in Vienna, Austria, a candy maker by the name of Eduard Haus, III, developed a candy to conceal adult smokers' bad breath.
In fact, the target market for the candy, labeled as a compressed breath mint, consisted of adult smokers. The original flavor for the candy, which is still available today, was Peppermint.
When marketers extracted the first, middle, and the last letters of the German word for Peppermint, Pfefferminz, they were left with PEZ, and the name stuck. Convenient, headless PEZ dispensers surfaced in the late 1940, and allowed the smoker to pop a PEZ to freshen his breath at any given time.
In 1952, the PEZ revolution spread to the United States, the land of opportunity, or opportunism, however you choose to look at it. Marketing gurus, after extensive research with children, concluded that the adult smokers' mint should be replaced by a fruit-flavored children's candy, complete with a gimmick. They determined that PEZ dispensers with character heads were just the vehicle to drive up sales, and they were right!
Flavors of the ever popular candies PEZ, which are compact, flavored sugar pellets, have come and gone over the years as peoples' tastes have changed. The flavors Chlorophyll, Eucalyptus, and Flower, were destined to be discontinued from the start. Other flavors no longer with us include Coffee, Licorice, Menthol, and Cinnamon.
The current availability of certain flavors of PEZ depends upon where you live. For example, in the United States, your choices are limited to Grape, Lemon, Orange, and Peppermint, while our Canadian neighbors have an additional fruit flavor, cherry, at their disposal. Overseas, in Spain, Apple and Raspberry flavors may be purchased, while in Hungary and Thailand, Chocolate flavor may be added to your stash. One additional type of PEZ exists; the vitamin enriched IZO PEZ.
Since 1952, PEZ dispensers have become collectors' items, with some rare dispensers carrying hefty price tags. So rare is the Big Top Elephant model, that one collector recently paid $3,600.00 to become the elephant's proud new owner! Over 275 different PEZ character heads have been designed since 1952, with as many as 48 different models on the market at any one time. In terms of popularity, the Mickey Mouse and the Santa Claus models top the list year after year. One set of models, that of the Flintstone cartoon characters, flew off of the shelves so quickly, that the rush to buy left the most popular one, Dino, the purple dinosaur, in short supply.
Technology's attempt to jump on the PEZ dispenser bandwagon has proven far less successful. One company produces a battery-powered dispenser, complete with a top that spins and pops candy into your mouth, and another produces the PEZ watch, which dispenses candy out of one side of the watch when a PEZ attack hits.
No doubt, PEZ will introduce new flavors and new dispensers in the future, but no matter what changes are made, PEZ has become so deeply engrained in our culture, that it is certainly here to stay.