MoFunny for

Wednesday

Women's Day · April 21, 2027

Trivia question....

Why does the moon shine?

+----- Answer At The End -----+

Consider these words of wisdom....

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! - Tom Lehrer

A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. -- Patricia Neal

Count not him among your friends who will retail your privacies to the world. -- Publilius Syrus

I bet ya' didn't know....

Luis de Camoens (1524-1580), the Portuguese poet, shipwrecked in 1561, lost all his possessions except his manuscript of "Lusiad," the poem that made him famous.

There are 4,300 known species of ladybugs in the world.

Things that make you go Hmmm....

The summer after college graduation, I was living at home, fishing in the daytime, spending nights with my friends—generally just hanging out. One afternoon my grandfather, who never went to college, stopped by. Concerned with how I was spending my time, he asked about my future plans. I told him I was in no hurry to tie myself down to a career. "Well," he replied, "you better start thinking about it. You'll be thirty before you know it." "But I'm closer to twenty than to thirty," I protested. "I won't be thirty for eight more years." "I see," he said, smiling. "And when will you be twenty again?"

Jokes & stories....

Joke

CONFUCIUS SAYS.....

"Man who run in front of car get tired"
"Man who run behind car get exhausted"
"Two wrongs not make a right - Three lefts do"
"Man who eat many prunes get good run for money."
"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left."
"Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!"
"Man who sit on tack get point!"
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"
"Man who lives in glass house should change in basement"
"If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient."

Joke

One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting in the back seat.

"Where to?" he stammered.

"Union Station," answered the woman.

"You got it," he said, taking another long glance in the mirror.

The woman caught him staring at her and asked, "Just what the hell are you looking at, driver?"

"Well ma'am, I noticed that you're completely naked, and I was just wondering how you'll pay your fare."

The woman spread her legs, put her feet up on the front seat, smiled at the driver and said, "Does *THIS* answer your question?"

Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked, "Got anything smaller?"

One-liner

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

Joke

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. He says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want."

The first nun says, "I want-a to be Sophia Loren" and *poof!* she's gone.

The second says, "I want-a to be Madonna" and *poof!* she's gone.

The third says, "I want-a to be Sara Pipalini."

St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.

"Sara Pipalini" replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says "I'm sorry but that name just doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing.

He hands it back to her and says "No Sister, this says 'Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days'!"

Joke

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class.

"In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.

"However," the professor continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up. "Yeah, right."

Red Neck

You might be a redneck if…

You've ever worn shorts to a funeral home.

Joke

Recently launched into the "real world" and shocked by the expenses that came with it, my brother Dustin was complaining about the high cost of auto insurance.
"If you got married," teased my dad, "the premium would be lower."
Dustin smiled and said, "That would be like buying an airline just to get free peanuts."

Joke

Jim Tapree was a noted Iowa agricultural scientist who spent time developing a husked species of a vegetable that would be hearty enough to grow in the weather found around 23 degrees S latitude.

Seeds were planted and the growing was monitored by Tapree and the locals who were all excited about the possibility of having a vegetable that would withstand the elements and the insects. When it was time to harvest the local newspaper praised the scientist and the vegetable and hailed it as:

the "Crop Pick of Tapree Corn"

Picture

Trivia answer....

The moon, a satellite, or small body, rotates on its axis around the earth, and "shines" when the sun's light beams onto its surface, and is reflected back to earth. Unfortunately, only one side of the moon is visible to us on the earth, as it takes the moon the same length of time to orbit on its axis, as it takes for it to orbit the earth.

The lunar month is divided into halves. During the first half, lasting approximately 14 days, the sun's light unrelentingly strikes the moon, which has no atmosphere or air to protect it from these rays, and brings the temperature of the moon to above that of the boiling point. The second half of the lunar month plunges the moon into cold, dark nights.

Man has learned a great deal about the moon since the days when ancient man worshipped it as a goddess who ruled the night. Space flights made by the United States, the USSR, now Russia, and our Apollo moon landings, unlocked some of the moon's secrets, by enabling astronauts to collect the moon's soil and rocks, and to photograph the side of the moon invisible to us for scientific analysis. The primary goal of scientific studies of the data collected is to determine if, someday, man can actually inhabit the moon.