In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023

MoFunny for

Tuesday

May 4, 2027

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Trivia question....

How is chewing gum made?

+----- Answer At The End -----+


Consider these words of wisdom....

Love your neighbors, but don't pull down the fence. - Chinese proverb.

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Even God cannot change the past. -- Agathon

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Fight for your opinions, but do not believe that they contain the whole truth, or the only truth. -- Charles A. Dana

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I bet ya' didn't know....

Sir George Rooke (1650-1709) was sent to sea as a boy by his father for petty thievery. He went on to fame as the British admiral who captured Gibraltar.

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If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.

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Things that make you go Hmmm....

Why does the word "sanction" mean both to permit and to prohibit?

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Jokes & stories....

Joke

There was once a great actor, who had a problem. He could no longer remember his lines. Finally after many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.

The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line, you must walk on to the stage carrying a rose, you must hold the rose with just one finger and your thumb to your nose, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'"

The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play he's practicing his line over and over again. Finally the time came. The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and with great passion delivered the line; "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress".

The theatre erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and the director was steaming! "You bloody fool!" he cried, "You have ruined me!"

The actor was bewildered, "What happened, did I forget my line?" He asked.

"No!" the director screamed, "You forgot the bloody rose!"

Joke

Redneck Jokes

Q. What do they call "Hee Haw" in West Virginia?
A. A documentary.

Q. What do they call it in Arkansas?
A. "Life Styles of the Rich and Famous."

Q. How do you know if a redneck is married?
A. There's chewing tobacco stains on both sides of the truck.

One-liner

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Joke

I was horrified to find my son eating out of the sugar bowl. "Don't let me catch you doing that again," I scolded.

My boy was willing but dubious. "I'll try, Mommy,"
he told me, "but you're so quiet sometimes."

Joke

A very small female janitor (4'10", 90 pounds) worked at an amusement park and was told to go out and sweep up the grounds. As she was getting ready to head out to clean up, her supervisor noticed her putting rocks in her pockets. When asked what she was doing, she pointed out that it was so windy out she was afraid of getting knocked over by the wind.

'So,' she said, 'now I weigh me down to sweep.'

Red Neck

You might be a redneck if…

Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off it.

Joke

These are actual English subtitles used in films made in Hong Kong

- I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
- Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep
- Gun wounds again! Fall down stupid white person.
- Same old rules: no eyes, no groin, no kissing.
- A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries
- Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken wings!
- Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants
- Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
- Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
- You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken
- I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
- You daring lousy guy with bad breath.
- Beat him out of recognizable shape!
- I have been scared shitless too much lately.
- I got knife scars more than the number of your leg hair!
- Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected
- The bullets inside are very hot. Why do you feel so cold?
- How can you use my intestines as a gift?
- This will be of fine service for you, you bag of scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your man parts and leave them out on the dessert for your aunts to eat.
- Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination.
- Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.
-Our tong is bigger than your tong!
- No karate kicks be allowed on Shabbos.

Joke

Did you know who in 1923 was:
1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company?
3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?
4. Greatest wheat speculator?
5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?
6. Great Bear of Wall Street?

These men should have been considered some of the world's most successful men. At least they found the secret of making money. Now more than 55 years later, do you know what has become of these men?

1. The President of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died a pauper.
2. The President of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, is insane.
3. The President of the N.Y.S.E., Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home.
4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.
5. The President of the Bank of International Settlement shot himself.
6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Rivermore, died of suicide.

The same year, 1923, the winner of the most important golf championship, Gene Sarazan, won the U.S. Open and PGA Tournaments. Today he is still playing golf and is solvent.***

CONCLUSION: STOP WORRYING ABOUT BUSINESS AND START PLAYING GOLF!


Trivia answer....

All recipes for chewing gum manufactured today share the same main ingredients: a gum base, sweeteners, primarily sugar and corn syrup, and flavorings. Some also contain softeners, such as glycerin and vegetable oil. The amount of each added to the mix varies as to which type of gum is being manufactured. For example, bubble gum contains more of the gum base, so that your bubbles don't burst…especially during class!

Though gum manufacturers carefully guard their recipes, they all share the same basic process to reach the finished product. Preparation of the gum base at the factory, by far the lengthiest step, requires that the raw gum materials be melted down in sterilized in a steam cooker, and then pumped to a high-powered centrifuge to rid the gum base of undesirable dirt and bark.

Once the factory workers clean the melted gum base, they combine approximately 20% of the base with 63% sugar, 16% corn syrup, and 1% flavoring oils, such as spearmint, peppermint, and cinnamon. While still warm, they run the mixture between pairs of rollers, which are coated on both sides with powdered sugar, to prevent the resulting ribbon of gum from sticking. The final pair of rollers comes fully equipped with knives, which snip the ribbon into sticks, which yet another machine individually wraps.

The gum base used in these recipes is, for the most part, manufactured, due to economic constraints. In the good old days, the entire gum base came directly from the milky white sap, or chicle, of the sapodilla tree found in Mexico and in Guatemala. There, natives collect the chicle by the bucketful, boil it down, mold it into 25-pound blocks, and ship it directly to chewing gum factories. Those with little or no self-restraint, chew their chicle directly from the tree, as did New England settlers, after watching Indians do the same.

The concept of chewing gum stuck, and continues to play a vital role in our economy, largely due to the many benefits associated with its use. Sales of chewing gum first began in the early 1800s. Later, in the 1860s, chicle was imported as a substitute for rubber, and finally, in approximately the 1890s, for use in chewing gum.

The pure pleasure derived from enraging a schoolteacher by blowing bubbles in class, or from annoying a co-worker by snapping it, is only one of the attractions of chewing gum. Chewing gum actually helps to clean the teeth, and to moisturize the mouth, by stimulating saliva production, which helps to neutralize tooth-decay-forming acids left behind after eating fermented food.

The muscular action of chewing gum also helps to curb a person's appetite for a snack or for a cigarette, to concentrate, to stay alert, to ease tension, and to relax one's nerves and muscles. For these very reasons, the armed forces supplied soldiers with chewing gum in World War I, World War II, in Korea, and in Vietnam. Today, chewing gum is still included in field and combat rations. In fact, the Wrigley Company, following the Department of Defense specifications supplied to government contractors, supplied chewing gum for the distribution to troops stationed in Saudi Arabia during the Persian Gulf War. It is safe to say that chewing gum has served our country well.