In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023

MoFunny for

Friday

May 21, 2027

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Trivia question....

Where did Aspirin come from?

+----- Answer At The End -----+


Consider these words of wisdom....

I cannot believe that the inscrutable universe turns on an axis of suffering; surely the strange beauty of the world must somewhere rest on pure joy! -- Louise Bogan

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Seize the moment of excited curiosity on any subject to solve your doubts; for if you let it pass, the desire may never return, and you may remain in ignorance. -- William Wirt

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Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. -- Scott Adams, 'The Dilbert Principle'

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I bet ya' didn't know....

Some bacteria can produce 16,000,000 offspring in 8 hours.

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Most insects used in a film: 22 million bees in The Swarm.

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Things that make you go Hmmm....

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?

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Jokes & stories....

Joke

Joe, the Governor's most trusted assistant, died in his sleep one night. The Governor had depended on Joe for advice on every subject, from pending bills to wardrobe decisions. In addition, Joe had been his closest friend.

So, it was understandable that the Governor didn't take kindly to the droves of ambitious office seekers who wanted Joe's job. "They don't even have the decency to wait until the man is buried," the Governor muttered.

At the funeral, one eager beaver made his way to the Governor's side.

"Governor," the man said, "is there a chance that I could take Joe's place?"

"Certainly," the governor replied. "But you'd better hurry. I think the undertaker is almost finished."

Joke

Flying in the hot seat.

A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park.

The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic work of the fire fighters as they battled the blaze.

When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved and arrangements were made. He was told to report to a nearby airport where a plane would be waiting for him.

He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate. He jumped in with his bag and shouted, "Let's go!'' The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the air. The photographer said, "Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures."

"Why?" asked the pilot.

"Because I am a photographe

One-liner

"Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart."

Joke

Pa and Ma were taking a load of produce into town to sell.

Pa held the reins as the old horse trotted down the road.

Ma said softly, "Pa, hold my hand."

Pa obliged.

A bit later, Ma says, "Pa, kiss me?" So he kisses her.

A little further along, she says. "Pa. . . "

"Damn it. Ma!" snapped Pa. "Get off the cucumbers and sit on the melons!"

Joke

Kentucky Love Poem

Susie Lee done fell in love;
She planned to marry Joe.

She was so happy 'bout it all
She told her Pappy so.

Pappy told her, "Susie gal,
You'll have to find another.

I'd just as soon yo' Ma don't know,
But Joe is yo' half brother"

So Susie put aside her Joe
And planned to marry Will.

But after telling Pappy this,
He said, "There's trouble still...

You can't marry Will, my gal.,
And please don't tell your Mother,

But Will and Joe and several mo'
I know is yo' half brother"

But Mama knew and said, "My child,
Just do what makes yo' happy.

Marry Will or marry Joe.
You ain't no kin to Pappy.

Red Neck

You might be a redneck if…

Your back porch is bigger than your house.

Joke

A man attended a Billy Graham Crusade. When the very emotional sermon was over, Reverend Graham asked those who'd been moved by the Lord to come forward.

The man had really been taken by the sermon and came forward to shake hands with Graham.

When the man got to the Reverend, Graham held his hands up, grabbed the microphone, stopped the music, and waved for silence. "My dear man, who put those clothes on your body?"

The man replied, "The Lord did!"

"AMEN" shouted the congregation.

"My good man, who put food on your table?"

"The good Lord did, Reverend!" the man shouted.

"AMEN! Hallelujah!" the crowd roared in response.

"My good fellow, who put that smile on your face and a rosey look to your cheeks?"

"Reverend, it was the Lord!"

"PRAISE GOD!" the crowd cheered.

Reverend Graham again raised his hands and called for silence. "Now, kind sir, what did the Devil ever do for you?"

The man thought for a second. "Nothing. Fuck him."

Joke

Nick the Dragon Slayer had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty for this would be death. One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer.

Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero.

Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, shooed him away with no payment made.

The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's shorts. The King immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer...

The moral of the story - - Pay Your Bills.

Picture

Random Cartoon Title: Coffee Cup Art 11


Trivia answer....

Aspirin's history is a lengthy one, from its discovery in the fifth century BC, to its use as a bartering tool in World War I, to its newly discovered benefits and uses.

A person could get a headache thinking about all of the detours aspirin has taken on the road to becoming today's common, inexpensive, cure-all medication.

Aspirin's roots are deep, and reach back to Hippocrates himself, the Greek father of modern medicine, who held the recipe for a pain reliever and fever reducer made from the bark and leaves of the willow tree. The key the Greek father of modern medicine held from sometime between 460 and 377 BC, was buried with him, and was not rediscovered until 1758 by an English clergyman.

Scientists, now aware of the pain relieving properties of willow bark, struggled to strip it down to the exact ingredient responsible for its powers, and finally did so in the 1820s. They narrowed their search to salicin, an early form of the family of drugs named salicylates, of which aspirin is a member.

Severe stomach upset from the salicylic acid extracted willow bark posed a problem for scientists. They attempted to remedy this side effect by combining the acid with sodium to neutralize the acid, but it failed to reduce the belly aching.

A French chemist, Charles Frederic Gerhardt put an end to the dilemma in 1853, by adding acetyl chloride to the sodium salicylate mixture. He published the results of his findings, but did not pursue his creation past this point, even though it upset the stomach less than the currently available compound. Mr. Gerhardt saw no future in the time-consuming preparation of his recipe, which he felt did not improve much upon the original medicine. His decision left people grabbing their guts, and stomaching the old standby, sodium salicylate.

Salvation came in 1897, in the person of an eager, young Felix Hoffman, who sought, and found, a drug to help relieve the painful symptoms of his father's arthritis. This driven chemist, an employee of the Bayer Company, found and dusted off Gerhardt's old publication, mixed a batch of the recipe, and discovered that it actually worked.

Hoffman used his connection with his employer to pitch his idea, and Bayer reluctantly agreed to produce the medicine they named Aspirin. They invented the name Aspirin by combining the initials A from acetyl chloride, the SPIR from the plant they extracted the salicylic acid from, Spirae ulmaria, and the IN, because it was the common ending for medications at that time. Bayer launched Aspirin in powder form and as a tablet in 1915. Aspirin was an instant success.

Aspirin's success ended up costing the Bayer Company a great deal of money, when the U.S., England, France, and Russia forced it to surrender the trademark to them, as part of Germany's war reparations at the close of World War I. Bayer gave up the trademark in 1919, as part of the Treaty of Versailles, which explains why the aspirin, stripped of its trademark, is now written in the lower case.

Today, aspirin holds the title of being the most widely used drug, one that is no longer solely used as a pain reliever and as a fever reducer. Physicians have shown aspirin to be effective in combating arthritis pain, in reducing the risk of heart disease, of death following a heart attack, of cancer, if taken two times weekly, and of developing preeclampsia during pregnancy. It is doubtful that aspirin will ever again be lost to the annals of history.