In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
May 29, 2027
Can fish drown?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
Fear is a question: What are you afraid of, and why? Just as the seed of health is in illness, because illness contains information, your fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge if you explore them. -- Marilyn Ferguson
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. - Katharine Hepburn
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. - Eric Hoffer
The round fishbowl was invented by Countess DuBarry, mistress of King Louis XV of France.
The first person to ever survive the fall over Niagara Falls was in 1901 when Annie Edson Taylor, a 43 year-old widowed school teacher from Bay City, Michigan survived the fall in a 260 pound oak barrel.
Why is it a chicken that crosses the road??? Why not a moose or a prairie dog? How about a jackelope! Not some boring chicken.
A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around. Teen says, "Grandpa, they didn't have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they?"
Grandpa replies, "Nope."
The teen says, "Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?"
Grandpa replies, "A wedding ring."
Who made this bad prediction?
"In the opinion of competent experts, it is idle to look for a commercial future for the flying machine. There is, and always will be a limit to its carrying capacity. Some will argue that because a machine will carry two people, another may be constructed that will carry a dozen, but those who make this contention do not understand the theory."
March 22 is National Goof-off Day
A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child wrote the following:
"We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida and now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people.
They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on big tricycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed, because it is all right now.
They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool, too, but they all jump up and down in it with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim.
At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out. Then they go cruising in their golf carts.
My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every night: Early Birds. Some of the people can't get past the man in the dollhouse to go out. So the ones who do get out bring food back to the wrecked center and call it pot luck.
My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded some day, too.
When I earn my retardment I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren."
As a new federal employee, I felt a combination of excitement and anxiety about meeting the strict standards of discretion and respect that our government imposes on its workers.
Fearful of making a costly mistake, I decided to read up on procedures and standards on the federal Office of Personnel Management web page. I'm not sure if I was relieved or worried when I clicked on one page and found:
"Ethics: Coming soon!"
You might be a redneck if…
about is if you can lose them or not.
Asked by his third-grade teacher to spell "straight." The boy did so correctly.
"Now," said the teacher, "what does it mean?"
"Without water."
One of my co-workers got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive-driving course to have points erased from her license. The instructor, a poice officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began.
Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?"
The student replied, "I was trying not to get another ticket."
The officer let him in.
Can fish drown?
YES!
Fish, like people, need oxygen to live.
A fish out of water, is a fish out of its element. A fish comes fully equipped with a pair of gills, which it uses to breathe under water. The gills extract life-sustaining oxygen from the hydrogen in the water molecules, in order to regulate the amount of oxygen intake. This maintains the necessary balance of the two components of water for the fish to survive.
When a fish is taken out of water, and exposed only to air, not to oxygen and hydrogen containing water, its gills are unable to control the oxygen intake, the delicate balance cannot be maintained, and the gills inhale a lethal overdose of oxygen. The fish essentially experiences death by "drowning."