Nice jugs...
In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
Thursday
June 24, 2027
Trivia question....
How does a sundial tell time?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
Consider these words of wisdom....
Please write again soon. Though my own life is filled with activity, letters encourage momentary escape into others lives and I come back to my own with greater contentment. -- Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey, 'A Woman of Independent Means'
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. - Author - Patricia Neal
The mere sense of living is joy enough. - Emily Dickinson
I bet ya' didn't know....
I Bet Ya Didn't Know: If you are trying to gain control of a situation, you are trying to get the "upper hand." This phrase originated with the advent of sandlot baseball. In order to determine which team would bat first, one player would grasp the baseball bat at the lower end. A player from the opposing team would then place his hand directly above the first player's hand. They would alternate hands up the bat until the end was reached and one of the players had the "upper hand".
The Amazon rain forest is about 2 million square miles, mainly in Brazil, and has a wider variety of plant and animal life than any other spot on Earth.
Things that make you go Hmmm....
Should we be getting cold sores in the summer and if we do, shouldn't they be called hot sores?
Jokes & stories....
Little Arty went to the first day of kindergarten and sat down. His teacher went around the room and was asking every boy and girl his or her name.
When she got to Arty he said, "My name is Arty, but they call me 'Farty' and that pisses me off."
Sensing some anger she said to Arty, "This is kindergarten Arty, we don't talk like that."
Then she went around and asked everyone their address.
When she got to Arty he said, "I live on Third Street but they call it 'Terd Street' and that really pisses me off."
She said, "Arty I want you to meet me after class at my desk."
"Yes ma'am," Arty said. So he meets her at the desk.
His teacher says, "You seem like a smart little boy, can you tell me what this means?" and she pulls up her dress.
He says, "Of course I can. That means you wanna diddle and I'm too little and that really pisses me off."
September 15 is... Felt Hat Day
One day, at a local buffet, a man suddenly called out, "My son's choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help! Please, anyone! Help!"
A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he was quite experienced at this sort of thing. He stepped over with almost no look of concern at all, wrapped his hands around the boy's gonads, and squeezed. Out popped the quarter. The man then went back to his table as though nothing had happened.
"Thank you! Thank you!" the father cried. "Are you a paramedic?"
"No," replied the man. "I work for the IRS."
Playing golf with his buddies, my grandfather had to make a slick 25-foot putt. As he lined it up, he announced, "I have a dollar bill that says I can make this putt. Does anyone want to bet?"
His three friends eagerly agreed to the wager. My grandfather missed the putt by ten feet, and his friends gathered around to collect their money. Granddad pulled out a dollar bill on which he had written, "I can make this putt."
His pals are still trying to collect on the bet and grandpa is too.
You might be a redneck if…
You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
Top Nine reasons the 80's were a cooler time to grow up than the 90's:
9) MTV actually played videos in the 80's.
8) There were only one kind of Nike tennis shoes (White with a red swoosh), and they didn't cost $125.
7) A comb in your back pocket is more practical and less painful than a ring through your nose.
6) In the 80's playing video games actually meant going out to DO something.
5) In the 80's, when you were out with friends, you didn't have to worry about your Mom calling you on your cell.
4) New Kids on the Block vs. Hanson. OK, that one's a draw.
3) In the early 80's there were kids in your high school who could buy alcohol legally.
2) Feathered hair was easier to care for than dreadlocks.
1) In the 80's you didn't have to worry about your pants falling down all the time.
Things Noted On REAL Resumes
REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB:
- Responsibility makes me nervous.
- They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions.
- Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches.
- I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
- The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers.
JOB RESPONSIBILITIES:
- While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility.
- I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award.
SPECIAL REQUESTS JOB OBJECTIVES:
- Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am l
Trivia answer....
How does a sundial tell time?
A sundial is a simple, yet accurate, instrument, which tells time by the movement of the shadow a pointer casts upon a dial, which marks the hours of the day. The shadow moves as the sun changes position in the sky throughout the day, and the dial tracks this movement.
For a sundial to be accurate, the pointer must be slanted at an angle equal to the latitude of its location. Vertical pointers are useful at showing the correct time only at one latitude and during one season, and flat dials must have unequally spaced hour marks upon them for accuracy.
Prior to the invention of the sundial, man guessed at the time of day by observing the sun's movement from morning until night. Sunrise and sunset required no calculation, but mid day, or noon, when the sun's position in the sky was at its peak, proved to be more difficult to predict. The times in between these three reference points left them baffled.
After scratching their heads for quite some time, it finally dawned on ancient man that shadows cast changed in length, and moved throughout the day. They concluded that, instead of craning their necks to watch the sun change position throughout the day, they could simply look down at the ground and note the passing of time by observing the change in shadow lengths. Additionally, this shadow clock method proved to be more accurate.
Prototypes of the sundial most likely consisted of poles stuck in the ground surrounded by rocks. The pole served as a pointer, and the stones as markers. The use of poles as pointers gave way to immense stone columns, one of which is Cleopatra's Needle in New York's Central Park. Sundials of smaller proportions were used, such as a "L" shaped Egyptian model dating back 3,000 years, which lays flat on the longer of its two legs, which bears marks indicating periods of time.
Around 300 BC, a Chaldean astronomer invented a bowl-shaped sundial with a pointer that cast a shadow onto the dial, which marked 12 hours of the day as the shadow inched along. Because this sundial proved to be highly accurate, its use continued for centuries.
More accurate, and portable, watches and clocks replaced sundials, as time telling instruments, but sundials still exist as ornamental additions to gardens. Oddly enough, some crude vertical sundials used for telling time, may be found on the walls and windowsills of old houses, and are configured so that a nail or the edge of the window casing casts a shadow. Perhaps, they served as the poor man's answer to the Swiss watch!