In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023

MoFunny for

Friday

June 25, 2027

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Trivia question....

What are "The bends"?

+----- Answer At The End -----+


Consider these words of wisdom....

Successful salesmanship is 90% preparation and 10% presentation. - Bertrand R. Canfield

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Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. - H. G. Wells

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There are days when solitude, for someone my age, is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall. -- Colette, 'Freedom,' 1908

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I bet ya' didn't know....

The average person sleeps about 2,920 hours each year. Figured on a 70-year life span, that's about 204,400 hours or about 23 years.

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Fifty years ago in July, Elvis Presley made his first professional recordings. By 1977, the year of his death, 150 Elvis impersonators were shaking their pelvises. Today there are at least 35,000. I guess it's good to be the Kings.

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Things that make you go Hmmm....

Why doesn't AOL put cork on the bottom of their trial CDs so they don't slide around so much when you use them as coasters?

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Jokes & stories....

Joke

SBF Seeks Male companionship. I love long walks in the woods. Riding in your pickup truck. Hunting Camping Fishing trips. Cozy winter nights spent lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and I will respond with tender caresses. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work. Kiss me and I'm yours. I'm a svelte good looking girl who loves to play. Call 565-2**1 and ask for Daisy.

The ad was placed by the Virginia city ASPCA and the female searching for a mate was an eight week old black Labrador.

Joke

The tourist wandered into a gourmet food shop in Beverly Hills. He picked out two apples and a pear.

"That will be $8.00," the storeowner said.

The tourist gave him a ten-dollar bill and walked away.

"Wait! Don't you want your change?"

"Forget it. I stepped on a grape on my way in."

One-liner

Some people drink at the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle.

Joke

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop said to the kid, "Nice bike you've got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

The kid said, "Yeah."

The cop said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike."

The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid took the ticket, but before he rode off he said, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

Humoring the kid, the cop said, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top!"

Joke

Talk about making an entrance. The airplane carrying Kentucky Gov. Ernie Fletcher to Washington on Wednesday for Ronald Reagan's funeral was nearing Reagan National Airport when its transponder, which emits an electronic identification signal, began to malfunction.

This failure led air traffic controllers to report an unauthorized plane in the airspace over Washington. A panicky evacuation of the U.S. Capitol and Supreme Court quickly followed, and Fletcher's plane received a swift greeting from fighter jets.

Daniel Groves, the chief of staff, blamed events on miscommunication between airport officials and the Air Force. "They had been cleared to land," Groves said.

The public embarrassment of the evacuation, not to mention that the plane the governor of Kentucky travels in is a 33-year-old prop-driven craft, could spark the state to upgrade its aircraft.

Red Neck

You might be a redneck if…

You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

Joke

A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea-captain. "What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?"

"Throw out an anchor, sir."

"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"

"Throw out another anchor, sir."

"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do?"

"Throw out another anchor."

"Hold on," said the Captain, "where are you getting all your anchors from?"

"From the same place you're getting your storms, sir."

Joke

In the admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling out forms, others were being interviewed and still others were being escorted to their rooms.
An elderly woman hesitantly entered my cubicle. She had completed her admitting forms and, upon my request, handed me her insurance cards. I typed the necessary information and then asked her the reason for her coming to the hospital.
"Just to visit a friend," she said, "but this had taken so long, I'm not sure I have time now."


Trivia answer....

"The bends" is a painful condition caused when nitrogen gas forms bubbles in a diver's blood. Scuba divers risk getting the bends if they come up too fast from a deep dive.

SCUBA stands for self-contained underwater breathing apparatus. When using SCUBA equipment, a diver breathes from a tank that holds highly compressed air.

SCUBA diving is different from holding your breath and diving, and to understand the difference you need to understand the incredible pressures that a diver's body experiences. When we are living on dry land at sea level, the air around us has a pressure of 14.7 PSI (pounds per square inch), or 1 atmosphere. That is a "normal pressure" for our bodies. Because water is so heavy compared to air, it does not take much water to exert a lot of pressure. For example, a 1-inch by 1-inch column of water 33 feet high exerts another 14.7 PSI.

If you hold your breath and dive down 33 feet (10 meters), therefore, your lungs actually contract in size by a factor of two. They have to -- there is twice as much pressure around the air in your lungs, so they contract. When you rise back up the air expands again, so your lungs return to normal size.

When you breathe from a SCUBA tank, the air coming out of the tank actually has the same pressure as the pressure that the water is exerting. It has to, or it won't come out of the tank. Therefore, when SCUBA diving, the air in your lungs at a 33-foot depth has twice the pressure of air on land. At 66 feet, it has three times the pressure. At 99 feet, it has four times the pressure, and so on.

When high-pressure gases in the air come in contact with water, they dissolve into the water. This is how carbonated beverages are made. To make carbonated water, water is exposed to high-pressure carbon dioxide gas, and the gas dissolves into the water. We all know what happens when you release the pressure in a bottle of soda -- bubbles suddenly start rising. The gas dissolved in the water at high-pressure comes out of the liquid when the pressure is released, and we see it as bubbles.

If a SCUBA diver stays under water, say at a depth of 100 feet (about 30 meters), for a certain period of time, some amount of nitrogen from the air will dissolve in the water in his or her body. If the diver were to swim quickly to the surface, it is just like uncorking a bottle of soda -- the gas is released. This can cause a very painful condition, and it is sometimes fatal.

To avoid the effects of quick decompression, the diver must rise slowly and/or make intermittent stops on the way up (called "decompression stops") so that the gas can come out of solution slowly. If the diver does rise too fast, the only cure is to enter a pressurized chamber in which the air pressure matches the pressure at depth (breathing 100-percent oxygen on the way to the chamber also helps). Then, the pressure is released slowly.

Decompression sickness, also known as the bends, is one danger of diving. Other dangers include nitrogen narcosis, oxygen toxicity and simple drowning (if you run out of air before making it back to the surface). If the diver decompresses properly, remains at "recreational depths" (less than 100 feet or so), and is careful about the air supply, the dangers can be largely eliminated. Proper training, good equipment and careful execution are the keys to safe diving.