MoFunny for

Monday

Punday · July 12, 2027

Trivia question....

How much sleep do we need?

+----- Answer At The End -----+

Consider these words of wisdom....

It is not enough to aim; you must hit. -- Italian Proverb

That's what I consider true generosity. You give your all, and yet you always feel as if it costs you nothing. -- Simone de Beauvoir

Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things. -- T. S. Eliot

I bet ya' didn't know....

Might keep this in mind when you dress for that backyard barbecue: Researchers say that mosquitoes avoid yellows, oranges, and whites.

The temple of Ningpo, China, was created exclusively as a place of prayer for women who hope in reincarnation to be reborn as men.

Things that make you go Hmmm....

Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?

Jokes & stories....

Joke

Murphy's Law On Whoopie!

1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
16. Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
17. It is always the wrong time of month.
18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.

Joke

Dogs Vs Kids

It doesn't take 45 minutes to get a dog ready to go outside in the winter.

Dogs cannot lie.

Dogs never resist nap time.

You don't need to get extra phone lines for a dog.

Dogs don't pester you about getting a kid.

Dogs don't care if the peas have been touched by the mashed potatoes.

Average cost of sending a dog to school: $42... Average cost of sending a kid: $103,000...

Dogs are housebroken by the time they are 12 weeks old.

Your dog is not embarrassed if you sing in public.

If your dog is a bad seed, your genes cannot be blamed. "

One-liner

If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.

Joke

A new celebrity restaurant chain is opening up nationwide. It is a partnership between Kareem Abdul Jabarr, Ryan Coffee, and Sugar Ray Leonard.

They're going to call it: "Coffee, with Kareem and Sugar"

Joke

The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island. Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him.

When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him, "With the captain's compliments. He said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued."

Red Neck

You might be a redneck if…

There are more fish on your wall than pictures.

Joke

A very nervous man, accompanied by his nagging wife, was examined by a doctor.

After checking the chart, he nodded and wrote the man a prescription for a powerful tranquilizer.

The man asked, "How often do I take these."

"Let's start off with once every six hours. But they're not for you." replied the doctor. "They're for your wife."

Joke

Steven Spielberg was discussing his new project - an action docudrama about famous composers starring top movie stars. Sylvester Stallone, Steven Segal, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were all present.

Spielberg strongly desired the box office 'oomph' of these superstars, so he was prepared to allow them to select what-ever composers they would portray, as long as they were very famous.

"Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play him."

"Chopin has always been my favorite, and my image would improve if people saw me playing the piano," said Willis. "I'll play him."

"I've always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes," said Segal. "I'd like to play him."

Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. "Sounds splendid." Then,looking at Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Who do you want to be, Arnold?"

So Arnold says........"I'll be Bach."

Picture

Trivia answer....

The amount of sleep an individual requires varies from person to person, but most adults average eight hours of sleep.

Sleep plays a vital role in our daily regimen, as during this dormant period, it recharges and rejuvenates weary body organs and tissues, and restores the body to an alert state. A person's lifestyle is another variable in the amount of time he needs to achieve this healthy balance, and to feel well rested upon awakening.

The quality of a person's sleep also factors into the sleep equation. When we drift off to sleep, we either fall into a deep, restful sleep, or into a shallow, light sleep. One who normally requires eight hours of sleep, but sleeps shallowly, will most likely awaken feeling tired. In contrast, if the same individual sleeps fewer hours, but lapses into a state of deep sleep, he may well awaken refreshed and invigorated.

A lucky few can bypass shallow sleep altogether, and fall directly into deep sleep on an as needed basis. Alexander the Great's military prowess may have been due, in part, to his ability to take a "cat nap."

Yet one more variable factors into the amount of sleep we require: that of the brain and of the body sleeping simultaneously. Under normal circumstances, the brain's sleep center blocks off the nerves to the brain and to the body to make sleep possible. The brain has no interest in doing anything, and could not even if it did, because the sleep center has shut down the internal organs, the arms, and the legs. Sometimes, however, the sleep center is unsuccessful in shutting down both the brain and the body at the same time. For example, in times of war, it is not unusual for soldiers suffering from sleep deprivation and from combat fatigue to continue to march, despite the fact that their brains have halted. Thankfully, such a situation is an anomaly, and does not occur with great frequency.