In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023

MoFunny for

Thursday

August 12, 2027

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Trivia question....

What is one of the fattiest of fishes?

+----- Answer At The End -----+


Consider these words of wisdom....

Deeds, not words shall speak me. -- John Fletcher

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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

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He was a bold man that first ate an oyster. - Jonathan Swift

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I bet ya' didn't know....

According to legend, cats were created when Noah's ark became infested with rats. Noah commanded the lion to sneeze, and out came a cat.

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The statue "Chief Crazy Horse" is 563 feet tall and is the tallest free standing statue in the world!

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Things that make you go Hmmm....

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

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Jokes & stories....

Joke

I recently saw a distraught young lady standing beside her car.

"Do you need some help?" I asked.

"I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker," she explained, exasperated. "Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a convenience store a couple blocks down) would have a battery to fit this?"

"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.

"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me to inspect.

I took the key and manually unlocked the door. "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

Joke

A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a moth."

Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist."

Man: "Yes, I know."

Dentist: "So why did you come in here?"

Man: "The light was on."

One-liner

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

Joke

A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll hang out with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll be your girlfriend for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket.

A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll be your girlfriend for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on.

Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised lots of fun with a beautiful princess for a whole year and you won't even kiss a frog?"

"I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for girls.... But a talking frog is pretty neat."

Joke

It's common practice in England to ring a telephone by sending extra voltage across one side of the two wire circuit and ground (earth in England). When the subscriber answers the phone, it switches to the two wire circuit for the conversation. This method allows two parties on the same line to be signaled without disturbing each other.

An elderly lady with several pets called to say that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called; and that on the few occasions when it did ring her dog always barked first. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring. He tried again. The dog barked loudly, followed by a ringing telephone.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground post via an iron chain and collar.

2. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current.

3. After several such jolts, the dog would start barking and urinating on the ground.

4. The wet ground now completed the circuit and the phone would ring.

Which shows you that some problems can be fixed by just pissing on them. But only temporarily.

Red Neck

You might be a redneck if…

Birds are attracted to your beard.

Joke

An Irishman walks out of a pub, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. "Can I help you lad?", asks the cop.

"Yesss, Sssshombody stol me car!", the Irishman replies.

The cop asks, "Well now, where was your car the last time you saw it?"

"It was at the end of this key", he replies.

About this time the cop looks down to see that the Irishman's willie is being exhibited for all to see. He then asks, "Are you aware that you're exposing yourself?"

The Irishman looks down woefully and moans, "OHHH GOD... they got me girlfriend too!!"

Joke

McMINNVILLE, Tenn. - Talk about a family circus.

It all began when Lance E. Champion, 23, noticed a deputy who was speeding. Feeling he was doing his civic duty, he pulled in behind Deputy Lt. Stan Hillis to let him know he had violated the speed limit. By the end of their conversation, Champion was in custody charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and evading arrest.

Champion called his mother, Janice K. Champion, 48, who came with her 17-year- old son in tow. The son smacked the hand of a deputy who was gesturing for them to leave the area. "If you strike an officer, you're going to jail 100 percent of the time," said Sheriff Jackie Matheny.

Officers then had to take Mrs. Champion into custody after charging her with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

To complete the cycle, her husband Hal Champion was shot with a deputy's Taser and taken into custody on similar charges. The family was later freed on bond.


Trivia answer....

One of the fattiest fishes is salmon: 4 ounces of the delectable fish contains 9 grams of fat.

People who live along Salmon Creek are digging through cluttered attics and garages, looking for stuffed or mounted trophies of long-dead coho salmon so scientists can scrape off some of the scales in search of the fish's DNA.

It sounds like a scene out of "Jurassic Park," but no one is trying to recreate living coho from the genetic material.

The hunt is on because scientists now know salmon evolve differently in different streams. A salmon from the Mendocino County's Noyo River, for example, may die if introduced into the Russian River. So if coho are ever to be restored to west Sonoma County's Salmon Creek -- or any other stream or river -- scientists want to make sure the new fish they introduce are genetically similar to ones there originally.

DNA research is being conducted on chinook and coho salmon, as well as steelhead, which scientists consider a strain of salmon. All three are listed as threatened species.

The dream is to create fisheries robust enough to support recreational fishing and to maintain the species' and nature's diversity, said Gail Seymour, watershed restoration planner for the California Department of Fish and Game.