MoFunny for

Friday

August 13, 2027

Trivia question....

What is a rainbow?

+----- Answer At The End -----+

Consider these words of wisdom....

Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look at the stars. - Henry Van Dyke

He had occasional flashes of silence, that made his conversation perfectly delightful. -- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay

Nothing, of course, begins at the time you think it did. -- Lillian Hellman, An Unfinished Woman, 1969

I bet ya' didn't know....

The Elysee Palace, Paris, France, official residence of the president, was purchased in 1805 by Napoleon I as a gift for his brother-in-law, Joachim Murat, for $180,000. The emperor never learned that Murat secretly received a kickback of $40,000 from its original owner.

Johann Heinrich Tischbein (1682-1764), a cabinet-maker of Haina, Germany, was the father of 7 famous painters, the grandfather of 16 famed artists, and great-grandfather of 34 artists.

Things that make you go Hmmm....

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to become troubled and insecure?

Jokes & stories....

Joke

Murphy's Laws for Parents

1. The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week.

2. Leakproof thermoses will.

3. The chances of a piece of bread falling with the grape jelly side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

4. The garbage truck will be two doors past your house when the argument over whose day it is to take out the trash ends.

5. The shirt your child must wear today will be the only one that needs to be washed or mended.

6. Gym clothes left at school in lockers mildew at a faster rate than other clothing.

7. The item your child lost, and must have for school within the next ten seconds, will be found in the last place you look.

8. Sick children recover miraculously when the pediatrician enters the treatment room.

9. Refrigerated items, used daily, will gravitate toward the back of the refrigerator.

10. Your chances of being seen by someone you know dramatically increase if you drive your child to school in your robe and curlers.

Joke

For years I had been telling my friend Pete that he ate too much fast food, but he always denied it. One day he admitted I was right.
"What changed your mind?" I asked.
"My grandson." he said. "When my daughter told him I was coming to visit, he asked, 'Grandpa from Florida or Grandpa from Pizza Hut?'"

One-liner

"Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income. "

Joke

A regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from the bathroom with an urgent report.

"Roger, listen," he told the host, "Walter’s in the kitchen making love to your wife."

"OK, that’s it, guys," Roger said. "This is positively the last deal."

Joke

Here's an excuse you can use if your child was not in school:

Please excuse <child-name> for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Red Neck

You might be a redneck if…

You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

Joke

The Ten Commandments Of Love!

1. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt squeeze no others before me.

2. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain, nor badmouth me behind my back.

3. Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy. Or else.

4. Honor MY mother and father. THINE are too damn weird.

5. Thou shalt not kill my love by behaving tackily and making me embarrassed to be seen with thee.

6. Thou shalt not commit adultery, nor shalt thou even THINK about it if thou knowest what's good for thee.

7. Thou shalt not steal from my purse/wallet while I am in thy bathroom, nor use my credit cards, nor make long-distance calls from my telephone.

8. Thou shalt not talk about our personal problems to our friends.

9. Thou shalt not covet the higher market price of thy neighbor's house.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Squeeze, nor son or daughter, nor stereo, nor BMW.

Joke

There was a mature gentleman wandering around in a supermarket calling out at intervals, "Crisco, Cris--co!"

Finally a store clerk approached. "Sir, the Crisco is on aisle five."

"Oh," replied the old gentleman, "I'm not looking for cooking Crisco, I am calling my wife."

"Your wife is named 'Crisco?'"

"Nah," he answered, "I only call her that when we come to the supermarket."

"Oh? What do you call her when you are not in the supermarket?"

"Lard ass."

Picture

Trivia answer....

A rainbow is merely a large band of parallel stripes, blended at the rims, which displays the full spectrum of colors that make up the sun's white light. This brilliant display appears to the naked eye when the sun's light breaks up as it passes through, the prism-like raindrops during a rain-shower.

This immense, curved spectrum of light appears only when both the elements of sunshine and rainfall present. As the sunlight enters the falling raindrops, it breaks up into its true colors of red, orange, yellow, blue, and violet. These colors are always arranged according to their wavelengths, with red being at one end of the spectrum, and violet at the other. Once inside the droplet, the particles of colored light bounce from side to side, reflect off of the far side of the droplet, exit the droplet, and reassemble, according to their wavelengths, to form a rainbow.

Simply because you happen to be in the right place at the right time, when both elements necessary to form a rainbow are present, does not mean that you will actually see one. For the human eye to see these multi-colored bands, ranging from red to violet, his body must be strategically positioned between the sun and the rain, with his back to the sun.

If the sun, the eye, and the center of the rainbow's arc are not in a straight line, the show is over, before it began. This explains why we only see rainbows in the early morning or late afternoon…it is physically impossible for us to align our eyes with the sun at other times of day, as it is high above our heads! Logically, a morning rainbow appears when the sun shines in the east, and the rain falls in the west, and an afternoon rainbow appears when the sun shines in the west, and the rain falls in the east. If lucky, and a bit superstitious, and you do find a pot of gold somewhere over the rainbow, please let us know. After all, we gave you the directions!