In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
September 23, 2027
How did superstitions begin?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
While the fates permit, live happily; life speeds on with hurried step, and with winged days the wheel of the headlong year is turned. -- Seneca
The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for. -- Maureen Dowd, in 'New York Times'
I am not a pessimist; to perceive evil where it exists is, in my opinion, a form of optimism. - Roberto Rossellini; 1906-1977
The upside-down catfish of South America swim normally for a time when they are young---then turn over on their backs for the remainder of their lives.
Coconut shells can absorb more impact than most crash helmets.
Why are things typed up but written down?
A duck walks into a bar and asks "got any crackers? "
Bartender says no.
Duck walks out.
Duck walks in the next day and asks, "got any crackers?" bar tender says no.
Duck walks out.
Duck walks in the next day and asks got any crackers?
Bar tender says, "I told you yesterday and the day before that no! and if you ask that one more time I'll nail your beak shut!"
Duck walks out.
Duck comes back the next day and asks, "got any nails?" bartender says no.
Duck says "Good. Got any crackers?"
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have a cell phone, but he thought he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance.
He climbed into the boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday."
A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location."
"I-75, two miles south of Standish."
After a long pause, the officer asked, "And how fast were you going when you reached shore?"
Dentists have their own flossify on how to keep teeth clean.
One of my co-workers got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive-driving course to have points erased from her license. The instructor, a police officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began.
Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?"
The student replied, "I was trying not to get another ticket."
The officer let him in.
My score was: "14.7929% - Geekish Tendencies"
Think you're a geek? Afraid that you're a geek? Hope you're not? Well, I have the site for you. Go to http://www.innergeek.us/geek.html, take the test (takes about 5 minutes) and see your score. You can also submit your score, and view those of others. (Optional)
You might be a redneck if…
Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
When you have had one of those TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT days, try this...
On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by *Q-Tip. Be very sure that you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed.
Open the package containing the thermometer and remove the thermometer and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer and as you read it you will notice in small print the statement that every rectal thermometer made by Q-Tip is PERSONALLY tested.
Now close your eyes and say out loud five times... "I am so glad that I do not work in quality control at the Q-Tip Company."
Tired from waiting for their overdue baby, my daughter and her husband broke the monotony one night with a trip to the movies. My daughter went inside to get seats while my son-in-law bought popcorn and drinks in the lobby.
Paying for the refreshments, my son-in-law knocked over his soda. The clerk mopped up the mess and refilled his cup. Rattled, he then joined his wife. Talking over the background music, he dramatically described his embarrassing episode. One of his expressive gestures upset the bucket of popcorn. He sheepishly headed back to the lobby. When he was out of earshot, the woman sitting next to my daughter turned and said,
"You're not going to let him hold the baby, are you?"
How did superstitions begin?
Superstitions began centuries ago when our ancestors tried to explain mysterious circumstances or events as best as they could with the knowledge they had.
For instance, before the development of science explained such strange things as why mirrors show our reflections or why shadows appear when it's sunny, ancient people reasoned that a shadow or reflection was part of their soul.
If someone broke something onto which the shadow or reflection appeared, people believed that their soul was harmed. Therefore, when a person broke a mirror it was considered unlucky or harmful.
Today we know that reflections and shadows are not part of our souls but if someone still believes it is bad luck to break a mirror they are said to be superstitious.
So a superstition is a belief or practice that people cling to even after new knowledge or facts prove that these silly beliefs are untrue.