In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
October 23, 2027
What are endored birds?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
If power was an illusion, wasn't weakness necessarily one also? - Author - Lois McMaster Bujold, A Civil Campain, 1999
Seek simplicity, and distrust it. - Alfred North Whitehead
Go outdoors and get rid of nerves. - Dr. Frank Crane
Until recently, salt bars were the standard currency of Ethiopia and cakes of salt, stamped to show their value, could be used as money in countries as far apart as Tibet and Borneo.
From NEW SCIENTIST magazine: "On the sun-drenched Caribbean island of St. Thomas, there is a plant known to the locals as the tourist tree, so called because its red bark peels off in long pale strips."
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
We all grew up on the Jersey Shore and spent our summers swimming, surfing, and hanging out. One of my friends loved the season so much that we began calling him Mr. Summertime.
"What happens when summer is over?" someone asked.
I thought for a minute, and then said, "In September he becomes the Fall Guy."
The U.S. Mint is recalling 120 million new State Quarters issued commemorating the State of West Virginia. Apparently the unique design of two dimes and a nickel held together with duct tape was jamming vending machines and parking meters.
Officials say a new quarter will be issued in the standard format, using the second place finalist from the design competition. The new coin will have the familiar view of a pickup truck on cinder blocks on the front lawn of the state capital building.
And the flip side will be modified to have the eagle with a bandage on its wing under the motto "WARNING: IF YOU SEE THIS BIRD, DO NOT SHOOT IT!"
Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian.
She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped.
I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right.
"I'm fine," she assured me, "but if that dog hadn't honked..."
I just read a report that stated that last year 4,153,237 people got married.
I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
You might be a redneck if…
You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right'
A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce.
The attorney asked, "May I help you??"
The farmer said, "Yeah, I want to get one of them dayvorces."
The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"
The farmer said, "Yeah, I got about 140 acres."
The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?"
The farmer said, "Yeah, I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."
The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
The farmer said, "Yes, sir, I got a suit, I wear it to church on Sundays."
The exasperated attorney said, "Well, sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."
Finally, the attorney said, "Okay, let me put it this way: why do you want a divorce?"
The farmer replied, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."
Why the angel is on top of the tree
Not long ago and not far away Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems every where... four of the elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule....then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mum was coming to visit...
This stressed Santa even more...when he went to harness the reindeer he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out heaven knows where...more stress.
And then, when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards on the sleigh cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered all the toys...so, frustrated Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey...but he found that the elves had hit the liquor cupboard and there was nothing there to drink...and in his frustration he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor... he went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. he opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. And the angel said: Santa, where would you like to put this Christmas tree??
And that, my friend, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree...
What are endored birds?
At lavish Christmas feasts in the Middle Ages, swans and peacocks were sometimes served "endored." This meant the flesh was painted with saffron dissolved in melted butter. In addition to their painted flesh, endored birds were served wrapped in their own skin and feathers, which had been removed and set aside prior to roasting.