MoFunny for

Sunday

October 24, 2027

Trivia question....

Why are some people left handed?

+----- Answer At The End -----+

Consider these words of wisdom....

After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed. De La Lastra's Law

I bid him look into the lives of men as though into a mirror, and from others to take an example for himself. -- Terence

Never be entirely idle; but either be reading, or writing, or praying or meditating or endeavoring something for the public good. -- Thomas a Kempis

I bet ya' didn't know....

In 33 hours of observation at a suburban shopping center, there were 700 violations of a no-parking fire zone. Women in vans committed 35% of them.

The ice fences of the Himalayas - Fields in the Himalaya Mountains, as a result of the high winds whipping the ice, often are surrounded by sharp pickets of ice 10 feet high.

Things that make you go Hmmm....

Does lemon juice turn sour when it goes bad?

Jokes & stories....

Joke

The plane's cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who was just as obviously enjoying himself.

He came swishing down the aisle and said to the man and the woman seated beside him, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that the woman hadn't moved a muscle.

"Perhaps you didn't hear me over the big-brute engines, I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country I am called a Princess, I take orders from no one."

"Well, sweet cheeks, in my country, I am called a Queen, so I outrank you. Now put up the tray, b'itch!"

Joke

Great Bumper Stickers!

1) The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

2) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

3) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5) BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

6) So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!

7) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

10) Earth first...we'll mine the other planets later.

11) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

12) As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

13) I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.

14) God must loved stupid people 'cause he made so many of them.

15) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

16) Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

17) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

18) It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

19) I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

20) A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.

21) Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

22) Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

23) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

24) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

25) Finish Your Beer ~ There Are Sober People In China!

26) Jesus Loves You ~ Everyone Else Thinks You're a Jerk

One-liner

Income Tax: Capital punishment.

Joke

Tokyo residents were panicked today by wide spread discoveries of little piles of cotton fiber and rodent droppings in residences in central Tokyo, accompanied by holes appearing suddenly in various pieces of household furniture.

Municipal authorities are taking swift action to calm residents and today claimed that there is little likelihood of a major outbreak of "futon mouse disease" in the city.

Joke

A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her password.

"The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says.

"Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password."

"Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me!"

Red Neck

You might be a redneck if…

You entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

Joke

My doctor's receptionist called me to the desk to update my personal file. Before I could tell her that all the information she had was still correct, she asked, "Has your birth date changed?"

Joke

Once upon a time in old France there was a small vineyard run by a coven of witches.

The grapes that grew there were used exclusively for the production of raisins, and were always harvested under a full moon to preserve the magic properties some of them had.

The witches believed that one full moon in seven was a bad one, and while the raisins made from grapes harvested under a good moon were ordinary (albeit of high quality) and mostly went to general consumption (witches have to make a living too, you know), grapes harvested under a bad moon would rot - with one exception: The biggest and strongest of the grapes would survive to become the legendary....

........"Bad Moon Raisin".

Picture

Random Cartoon Title: Coffee Cup Art 11

Trivia answer....

"Because lefties do it right!"

"Because left handed people are the only people in their right minds?"

This question is definitely not a no-brainer.

Two theories predominate in the debates that rage on as to why a mere 4% o the population is left-handed. Most authorities agree, to the relief of many a mother of a left-handed child, that if the child prefers using the left hand, and functions well with it, there is no need to correct this "condition."

One theory centers on the two halves of the brain, i.e. the left half and the right half, each of which functions differently. Medical science believes that the left half of the brain predominates over the right half. The stem of this theory is the fact that nerves from the brain cross over at neck-level to the opposite side of the body, and nerves from the other side of the brain reciprocate. The end result is that the opposite sides of the body are supplied by the opposite sides of the brain.

The predominant left half of the brain, which graciously supplies the right half of the body, theoretically renders it more skillful in reading, writing, speaking, and working, and makes most people right-handed. "Lefties," however, are the product of an inversion, whereas the right half of the brain predominates, and they work best with the left side of their bodies.

Theory number two trickles down to the asymmetrical nature of the body. Examples of the asymmetry, which flows from head to toe, are that the right side of our faces differs slightly from the left, that our legs differ in strength, or that our feet vary in size. One aspect of this asymmetry is that for most people the right hand is stronger than the left.

There is no doubt that all exist in a "right-handed society," which manufactures most basics, including scissors, doorknobs, locks, screwdrivers, automobiles, buttons on clothing, and musical instruments for the 96%. Left-handed people compensate for this snobbery of sorts, by being members of an elite society, which includes many of the greatest geniuses, including Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and The Useless-Infomaster.