MoFunny for

Friday

October 29, 2027

Trivia question....

How do spiders spin their webs?

+----- Answer At The End -----+

Consider these words of wisdom....

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. -- Dale Carnegie

Life is thirst. - Leonard Michaels

To die for an idea is to set a rather high price upon conjecture. - Anatole France

I bet ya' didn't know....

Ashrita Furman (New York) balanced 62 pint glasses on his chin for 10 seconds.

In the Cottonian Library of the British Museum, London, is a circular chessboard.

Things that make you go Hmmm....

Can a person be in a state of total array?

Jokes & stories....

Joke

An older couple had a son, who was still living with his parents. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his career path... so they decided to do a small test.

They took a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping he would think they weren't at home.

The father told the mother, "If he takes the money he will be a businessman, if he takes the Bible he will be a priest - but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard."

So the parents took their place in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive home. He saw the note they had left, saying they'd be home later. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.

After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it also.

Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all the three items.

The father slapped his forehead, and said: "Darn, it's even worse than I ever imagined..."

"What do you mean?" his wife inquired.

"Our son is going to be a politician!" replied the concerned father.

Joke

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."

-- Jerry Seinfield

One-liner

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?
I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

Joke

Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good. God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!"

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"

Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"

As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.

He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?" my son asked.

"Cross my heart." Then in a theatrical whisper he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.

He picked up his sundae and without a word walked over and placed it in front of the woman.

With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes, and my soul is good already."

Joke

A guy was in court charged with parking in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defense.

"They shouldn't put up such misleading notices," said the guy.

"The sign said 'FINE FOR PARKING HERE'."

Red Neck

You might be a redneck if…

Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

Joke

This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy and went out to ask his wife what was for supper.

Well, his old lady was quite irritated about him sitting in the air conditioned house all day while she did all the work, so she scolded him. "Think of me as dead."

So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, potatoes and iced tea.

She walked in about the time he was finishing up and asked him, "You fixed something to eat? Where is mine?"

"Huh? I thought you were dead."

Joke

IF MEN RULED THE WORLD...
When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL Team of your choice.
The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

Picture

Trivia answer....

To spin a tale about the spider, member of the species arachnid, we must first examine the common thread that ties them together...the way they produce the silk they use to weave their webs, as well as other contraptions, to suit their particular needs.

Spiders differ from insects in that they have eight legs, eight eyes, in most cases, no wings, and have only two parts to their bodies, one of which produces silk. They are found in a host of climates, can scurry across the ground, can scale plants, and can skate on, and live in, water. These factors determine how the spider uses it's silk, and what type of silk it produces.

Production of silk begins in certain glands located in the abdomen, or belly, of the beast. Spinning organs at the tip of the abdomen, contain many tiny holes, and function much as a sieve, through which the silk is pressed. The silk strained through is in liquid form, but immediately takes on a solid form, much like cotton candy does, when exposed to air.

The spider creates a variety of types of silk, each of which serves a separate, yet distinct function. Spiders use the sticky kind to spin webs, to catch and to hold the insects they invite into their parlors until they are ready for dinner. They use the non-sticky, stronger variety to tether down the spokes of the wheel, and yet a different kind of silk for their cocoons.

Even the webs the spider spins differ greatly, depending upon the factors listed above. The most common of all webs we see is the wheel-shaped web. Less common are the so-called "sheet" webs, which blanket surfaces with a funnel, or dome like shape. The trap-door spiders burrow out their webs, and complete them with built-in chutes, through which their unsuspecting guests fall through, right onto the spider's plate. The web we see least often, is the air-tight, bell-shaped home some spiders build...probably because it is completely submerged in water!