The original government house of Auckland, N.Z., was built in England, taken apart, transported by ship to New Zealand, and reassembled there in 1840. The structure, which measured 120 feet by 50 feet and weighed 250 tons, was a replica of the house built for Napoleon on St. Helena.
A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme?'" she asked.
"Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children."
"Is that a record?" the caller inquired, puzzled in her turn.
"I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."
Joke
On an airplane, I overheard a stewardess talking to an elderly couple in front of me. Learning that it was the couple's 50th wedding anniversary, the flight attendant congratulated them and asked how they had done it. "It all felt like five minutes..." the gentleman said slowly. The stewardess had just begun to remark on what a sweet statement that was when he finished his sentence with a word that earned him a sharp smack on the head: "..underwater."
One-liner
A sausage walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry we don't serve food here."
Joke
My husband was a Navy chaplain deployed to the Persian Gulf at the end of Desert Storm. I did everything possible to ensure our three young children wouldn't be worried about their father's being in danger. It wasn't always easy, but I knew I'd succeeded when someone at church asked our three-year-old where his dad was.
He replied, "He's in the Persia, golfing."
Joke
A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, "Rest in Peace".
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the \ mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, 'congratulations on your new location'"
Red Neck
You might be a redneck if…
The fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year."
Joke
While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11'3".
They got out and measured their rig, which was 12'4".
"What do you think?" one asked the other.
The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first. "Not a cop in sight. Let's take a chance!"
Joke
It was my first time ever And I'll never forget I'd do it again Without a single regret.
The sky was dark The moon was high We were all alone Just she and I
Her hair was soft Her eyes were blue I knew just what She wanted to do
Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine
I didn't know how But I tried my best I started by placing My hands on her breast
I remember my fear My fast beating heart But slowly she spread Her legs apart
And when I did it I felt no shame All at once The white stuff came
At last it's finished It's all over now My first time ever At milking a cow.....
Picture
Trivia answer....
What was one of the earliest records of sheep?
There are more than 300 references to sheep and lambs, more than any other animal, in the Bible's Old Testament, one of the earliest records of sheep.
Sheep were among the first animals domesticated. An archeological site in Iran produced a statuette of a wooled sheep which suggests that selection for woolly sheep had begun to occur over 6000 years ago. The common features of today's sheep were already appearing in Mesopotamian and Babylonian art and books by 3000 B.C.
Selection for wool type, flocking instinct and other economically important traits over the centuries has resulted in more than 200 distinct breeds of sheep occurring worldwide. Modern breeding schemes have also resulted in an increasing number of composite or synthetic breeds which are the result of a crossing of two or more established breeds.