The company I work for sometimes puts on what they call "Lunch and Learn" seminars during the employees' lunchtime, dealing with a variety of physical and mental health issues. If the seminar lasts beyond the normal lunch hours, we're supposed to get managerial approval to attend.
So, last week, this flier came around:
LUNCH AND LEARN SEMINAR:
WHO'S CONTROLLING YOUR LIFE?
(Get your manager's permission before attending)
Looks like that question's been answered ...
In loving memory of Tom Hogg, 1943–2023
MoFunny for
Tuesday
August 31, 2027
Trivia question....
How did the idea for Santa Claus originate?
+----- Answer At The End -----+
Consider these words of wisdom....
As men, we are all equal in the presence of death. -- Publilius Syrus, Moral Sayings, First Century B.C.
The only alternative to coexistence is codestruction. -- Jawaharlal Nehru
Politicians are people who, when they see the light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy more tunnel. - John Quinton
I bet ya' didn't know....
Eighty percent of what you file is never looked at again, according to UNCLUTTER YOUR HOME author Donna Smallin.
The Sun rotates once every 27 days, minus three hours, at least at its equator.
Things that make you go Hmmm....
How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out that wheels on luggage would be a good idea?
Jokes & stories....
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday.
The following week she asked each child in turn what they had learned.
Susie said, "He was born in a manger."
Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple."
Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it."
Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?"
"From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, 'Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'"
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can do all these things,
Then you are probably the family dog.
When you are sad .....
I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum-sucking evil one who made you sad.
When you are blue .....
I'll try to dislodge whatever's choking you.
When you smile .....
I'll know you finally got laid.
When you are scared .....
I will rag you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried .....
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
When you are confused .....
I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.
When you are sick .....
Stay the hell away from me until you're well again --
I don't want whatever it is you have.
When you fall .....
I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.
But when you REALLY, REALLY need a friend ...
You know I'll drop everything and I'll BE there.
This is my oath ..... I pledge it till the end.
Why? You might ask .....
Because you're my friend.
You might be a redneck if…
Your idea of a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
A raggedy-assed old nun was walking home from the convent one evening, when an old man jumped out from the bushes and had his way with her.
Then the man said: "What will you tell the Holy Father *now*, Sister?"
And the nun replied: "I must tell the truth! I will say I was walking home from the convent when a man jumped out from the bushes, attacked me and had his way with me TWICE...... unless you're too tired."
Realizing that I'd put on a pound or two, I lamented to my husband, "I'm fat."
And right on cue he said what all good husbands must: "You're not fat." To support his position, he added, "Just look around you at others, and you will see that you are not fat."
But our daughter, a high schooler, saw through it: "Mom, he's grading you on the curve!"
Trivia answer....
How did the idea for Santa Claus originate?
The American version of the Santa Claus figure received its inspiration and its name from the Dutch legend of Sinterklaas (a Dutch variant of the name Saint Nicholas).
Dutch colonists took this tradition with them to New Amsterdam (now New York City) in the American colonies in the 17th century.
As early as 1773 the name appeared in the American press as "St. A Claus," but it was the popular author Washington Irving who gave Americans their first detailed information about the Dutch version of Saint Nicholas. In his History of New York, published in 1809 under the pseudonym Diedrich Knickerbocker, Irving described the arrival of the saint on horseback each Eve of Saint Nicholas.
This Dutch-American Saint Nick achieved his fully Americanized form in 1823 in the poem A Visit From Saint Nicholas more commonly known as "The Night Before Christmas" by writer Clement Clarke Moore. Moore included such details as the names of the reindeer; Santa Claus's laughs, winks, and nods; and the method by which Saint Nicholas, referred to as an elf, returns up the chimney. (Moore's phrase "lays his finger aside of his nose" was drawn directly from Irving's 1809 description.)
The American image of Santa Claus was further elaborated by illustrator Thomas Nast, who depicted a rotund Santa for Christmas issues of Harper's magazine from the 1860s to the 1880s. Nast added such details as Santa's workshop at the North Pole and Santa's list of the good and bad children of the world. In the first Nast illustration, Santa was delivering Christmas gifts to soldiers fighting in the Civil War. The cartoon, entitled "Santa Claus in Camp" appeared in Harper's Weekly on January 3, 1863.